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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27832060">Failing Forward</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natural_Log/pseuds/Natural_Log'>Natural_Log</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Widofjord From My Head [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Background Relationships, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fantasizing, Getting Together, I wrote this for me but y'all can read it if you want, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Pining, References to Knotting, Slow Burn, Tags to be updated as we go, background beauyasha, no beta we die like men, oh gosh where to start, ohhhhh it got a little spicy there, takes place sometime before Caleb learns the mansion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:52:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>38,595</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27832060</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natural_Log/pseuds/Natural_Log</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Caleb likes to think if he is overly good at one thing, one skill he wishes he didn’t have, it’s fucking up.</p><p>It usually ends in disaster. That time he tried to help cook dinner that resulted in Caduceus hating salt for a month. That time he tried to make a light joke to Yasha and reminded her of her wife. That time he tried to steal a spell scroll and Fjord threatened to kill him. That time he burned his family alive in his childhood home and went catatonic for a decade. </p><p>The phrase “go big” as an encouragement wasn’t supposed to apply to his fuck ups. But it does. Oh, it does. </p><p>Very rarely though Caleb comes out no worse for wear. And once, it actually improved his quality of life. Though it mostly made him miserable first. And the group nearly fell apart. Fjord almost died. More than once Caleb fervently called out to the Wildmother to have the earth open and swallow him whole. </p><p>But Caduceus still under-salts the soup for Caleb’s taste, and now his life is a little less bleak, so. All things considered<br/>--<br/>That fakemarried!Widofjord thing that is so self-indulgent I can't believe I'm posting it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Fjord/Caleb Widogast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Widofjord From My Head [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1198351</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>81</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>172</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This started out as me just trying to get some practice with banter and then.... man idk I feel like I blacked out and when I came to there was 20k about these disaster casters pining and being big dumbos and I'm not even finished.<br/>I'm chopping it up into more digestible chapters but there's no rhyme or reason to any of this. Like I said. Self indulgent. I wanted some fake marriage, mutual pining angst so I gave myself a treat.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Caleb likes to think if he is overly good at one thing, one skill he wishes he didn’t have, it’s fucking up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It usually ends in disaster. That time he tried to help cook dinner that resulted in Caduceus hating salt for a month. That time he tried to make a light joke to Yasha and reminded her of her wife. That time he tried to steal a spell scroll and Fjord threatened to kill him. That time he burned his family alive in his childhood home and went catatonic for a decade. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The phrase “go big” as an encouragement wasn’t supposed to apply to his fuck ups. But it does. Oh, it does. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Very rarely though Caleb comes out no worse for wear. And once, it actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>improved </span>
  </em>
  <span>his quality of life. Though it mostly made him miserable first. And the group nearly fell apart. Fjord almost died. More than once Caleb fervently called out to the Wildmother to have the earth open and swallow him whole. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Caduceus still under-salts the soup for Caleb’s taste, and now his life is a little less bleak, so. All things considered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Earlier…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh sure,” Fjord said in a mocking tone. “Let’s just pretend to be married, what could go wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said it was a bad idea the second it came out of my mouth.” Caleb rubbed his eyes and let his shoulders sag. “Just because I come up with something when we are spitballing doesn’t mean I want to commit to it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would be heartbroken,” Fjord deadpanned, “If we were actually married, or I actually thought you were referring to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Earlier still…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Remind me who Sabien is again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Veth crunched on her bread loudly. “I think he’s Fjord’s rival?” She smacked her lips and narrowed her eyes, thinking. “Maybe frenemies is a better word though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Across the fire Jester wiggled her shoulders. “Oooh, maybe there was some </span>
  <em>
    <span>tension </span>
  </em>
  <span>there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gross,” Beau screwed up her face and glanced at Fjord. “Wasn’t he like your brother?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s common for people who grow up together to have complicated feelings for eachother.” Caleb rolled the soft part of his bread into a ball out of habit and grimaced. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Complicated is one word for it.” Fjord glowered into the fire. “He blew up our ship, I just want to know why.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The fire crackled and the sky grew darker as they sat and ate. Not far away the caravan they were guarding began bedding down for the night, calling to each other and disappearing into their carts and tents. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So… he killed you.” Caleb’s voice was soft, not a question. They hadn’t actually talked about it very much. Fjord’s first death. The big one. Fjord claimed he didn’t remember much, which was possible, but Caleb wasn’t sure how much Fjord still hid from them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No, he reminded himself. I trust Fjord. If there was something important, he would tell us. He can keep his trauma close if that’s what he needs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Fjord wasn’t looking at the fire any more, that was clear. “I guess he did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We killing him back?” Beau’s eyes were hard. “Captain?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord didn’t answer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Two days out from Port Zoon they paused in the route to hunt and fix a broken wheel. It was good timing, according to Caduceus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We should probably make a plan.” Caduceus ladled soup into bowls. Caleb tasted his politely before reaching for the salts. “There are children involved, so we should be extra careful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think Beau is good with kids,” Jester grinned, “Remember how she was with her brother? It was so sweet, Beau.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau shrugged and tilted her head. “I could help with gathering information I guess. And I mean, I am your first mate, so I’m happy to go in there for you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, something tells me the Matron won’t be as receptive to your brand of charm.” Fjord made an apologetic face. “At least from what I know of her she’s very protective of the children, and who she lets near them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh!” Veth popped her head up from her bowl. “What if I pretend to be an orphan! I can change my shape and-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone shook their heads with varying degrees of intensity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The kids aren’t allowed in the business areas,” Fjord explained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the same time Caleb said, “It would be incredibly taxing to keep you in character long enough.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen,” Fjord held up a hand. “I appreciate everyone wanting to help me, but this should be relatively easy. I walk in, I ask about business details as if I’m interested in adopting, find out what Sabien’s interest is. If he’s just trying to pay it forward, so be it and we walk away.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb set his bowl aside and rubbed his mouth. “You said the Matron is protective?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, bless her. One of the good ones, from what I’ve heard. I hope that's true.” There’s a shadow there, under Fjord’s words and behind his eyes. A shadow Caleb recognizes when he looks in the mirror. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha tilted her head. “Wait, what if Sabien is there? Will he try to kill you again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord shook his head. “He’s not in Zoon right now. At least as far as Kotho could tell.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So the plan is; you walk into the orphanage and ask about adopting.” Caleb asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, that’s about the long and short of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And the Matron will be amenable to that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a moment Fjord paused. “Well, alright, maybe she will say no, but-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Caduceus nodded, “I see what Mister Caleb means.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong with me asking to adopt a child?” Fjord drew his eyebrows down and spread his hands wide, confused. “I was an orphan myself once, it makes sense I would come back to help another.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s nothing wrong with it,” Caleb held a hand out. “Nothing at all. It’s very in character. I just think it might be better if you had a partner. Two parents are better than one, are better than none.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s very good Caleb,” Caduceus smiled and nodded. “I’m sure you’ll be able to find any important information too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait,” Caleb stilled, eyes going a bit wide. “I didn’t mean-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Suddenly I’m marrying Caleb?!” Fjord yelped, looking between Caleb and Caduceus. “Hold on just a-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-figured someone else would-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok ok ok!” Jester held her hands up. “We get it! Jeez. You guys don’t like each other enough to go undercover together, fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without missing a beat they both instantly started talking again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not what I meant Caleb, I didn’t-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-wasn’t trying to push myself into the middle of-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-obviously you’re the most qualified because-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha whistled, low and drawn out. “Anyone else think they’re being weird about this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Definitely.” Beau raised an eyebrow. “You two do make the most sense though, so maybe stow the panic for a second. Fjord’s got the know-how, and he talks good. Caleb talks good when he has to and he can find damn near anything that’s written down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Plus he can pass messages with me,” Veth twirled the copper wire between her fingers before vanishing it back into her dress. “And it makes sense they would be at an orphanage. Newlyweds looking to start their family.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can even use some of your </span>
  <em>
    <span>real </span>
  </em>
  <span>history in your cover!” Jester grinned and clasped her hands under her chin. “Oh how sweet, a teacher falling for his student!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau grinned as she caught on. “That’s great Jess! Caleb was a teacher in, I don’t know, maybe Alfield? And Fjord went to learn magic after he got burned out working the docks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And they’re coming back here to escape the war.” Caduceus nodded. “Nice and simple, I like it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great,” Fjord snapped. His cheeks were darker green than normal and he was avoiding looking at Caleb. “Now that you have my life re-written to suit your fantasy-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, Fjord.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb’s voice was so quiet, his face turned away, that it was surprising Fjord heard him at all. But he stopped and looked at the ground between his feet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb is good at something, after all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fucking up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb’s spell components were exactly as he left them. He ran his fingers over the strange assortment of things, counting and recounting, looking for any sign that they would not perform. Satisfied, he began tucking them away again, updating his internal list of things he should purchase when the opportunity arose. Each small pouch was filled, patted. The drawstring was drawn tight, bringing the smaller compartments together and cinching the top.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All set?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite what Fjord liked to claim, Caleb did </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> spontaneously levitate. He was startled, because he thought his traveling companions were </span>
  <em>
    <span>polite</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and polite people do not sneak up and startle their friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Fjord stopped cackling to himself he leaned against the back of the cart Caleb was seated in. “Jester said you had some paperwork for us?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” Caleb had to lean to pull his bag out from under himself, muttering under his breath about sneaky green folk making his life harder. “Here, sign this one, make sure it looks alright.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord took the paper and his hand brushed against Caleb’s for a moment, eyes already flicking over the paper's contents. Caleb clenched his fingers and swallowed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is uncharacteristically brazen of you, Caleb.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His head whipped up to look at Fjord, eyes wide and throat tight. Did he think- did he know that-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Fjord’s eyes were soft and teasing, and he tilted the paper at Caleb. “Also wholly unromantic. A marriage proposal by thrusting a certificate for me to sign? My dear we are going to have to work on your acts of love.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Caleb’s mind was blank. “Er…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord rolled his eyes and turned back to the paper. “Relax, Caleb, I’m joking.” Then he frowned and tapped near the bottom. “What’s this about?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb leaned forward and peeked over the edge of the sheaf. “Those are our names, Fjord.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In response Fjord threw him a look. “Yes, thank you master wizard. Except you took my last name.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking up at Fjord’s face Caleb realized he made a mistake. Or maybe two. But one was definitely thinking it was a good idea to lean into Fjord’s space to look at the paper. He was too close to Fjord, who was looking down at him intensely. It made it hard to focus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that a problem?” He managed. Fjord’s eyes tightened and he chewed his lip for a moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean…” Fjord thought for a moment. “I suppose it isn’t. Not really? But also, I don’t think we should use my real name. I mean, something Sabien would recognize. Or could be traced back to us later.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course. “Of course. I should have thought of that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord slid down so he was at Caleb’s eye level, resting on the back step of the cart. “Well, I don’t mind taking the name Widogast, but you’ve been using it for a while now haven’t you? That might be getting recognizable too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb suddenly thought </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fjord Ermendrud</span>
  </em>
  <span> unbidden and inhaled sharply. “Probably,” he managed. “We could pick something new?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm.” Fjord squinted out, across the fields. “Likely something Zemnian.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why Zemnian?” Caleb frowned at Fjord. Did he think he needed to conform or something? Fjord had a habit of feeling inadequate, he didn’t even reveal his last name out of shame for months. Caleb had thought taking ‘Stone’ for his name would be appreciated, and now Fjord was turning things around on him. Again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well my dear,” Fjord flourished a hand, cueing Caleb in that he was putting on airs. “We planned on staying in the Empire before this dreadful war started. Of course I would take a proper Zemnian name to help me fit in, so I wouldn’t draw so much attention to my beloved.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm,” Caleb scratched his chin idly. “I appreciate that you were willing to give up your love of the ocean to be with me. But I think I was secretly thrilled to leave. We probably fought quite a bit about who got to be the martyr.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord barked out another laugh and Caduceus paused in walking by to turn and watch them. “Too true. But still- when we married we planned to stay in the Empire. A Zemnian name?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gebirge?” Caleb tried. “Caleb and Fjord Gebirge? Or if you would rather have some alliteration, perhaps Felsen?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like Felsen,” Caduceus said with a smile. He walked over to peer at the paper. “Fjord Felsen. Rolls off the tongue.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a moment in thought Fjord nodded. “It does sound rather Zemnian.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here,” Caleb flipped through his papers and pulled out another, unsigned. “Let me just-” as he scribbled his new signature. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Caleb Felsen</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He blew on the ink for a moment, narrowed his eyes as he scanned the rest of the page, and handed it to Fjord. “Your turn.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This time Caleb tried to keep their hands from touching, but the quill was small and delicate. Fjord’s hand covered his entirely as he slipped the instrument from his fingers. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fjord Felsen</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wonderful,” Caleb slipped the paper away and rolled it up. “Now you are bound to me, my condolences.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At that Fjord grinned again and rubbed his palm. “Does Felsen mean anything or is it an old Zemnian name?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stone, rock.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caduceus’ laugh was loud, startled out of him, and Fjord narrowed his eyes at Caleb. “You sneak.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb ducked his head, cheeks slightly flushed. Entirely too pleased with himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Scooch over.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb looked up from his rations and blinked at Veth. “Eh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was scowling at him, then at Fjord. Who was seated on a fallen tree next to where Caleb sat cross legged on the ground. “You’re sitting too far apart.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb looked at Fjord. Who looked at Caleb. “How do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re married, act like it.” Veth stood and pushed on Caleb’s shoulder until he shuffled over and pressed against the side of Fjord’s knee. “There. And you,” she tugged on Fjord’s arm, rearranging them until Caleb was sitting between Fjord’s legs. “There. Better. Someone might think you actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>like </span>
  </em>
  <span>each other now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like Caleb plenty, Veth,” Fjord countered. “I don’t see why-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hush,” Veth ran a hand through Caleb’s hair absently before returning to her side of the fire. “You should be more comfortable around each other. Casual physical affection.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb stared at Veth as warmth seeped into his sides from Fjord’s legs. She only raised an eyebrow in response. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then fingers pushed against his temple and he stilled, rations halfway to his mouth. Fjord's hands were gentle, his nails thick as they grazed his scalp and brushed his hair back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Veth smiled and turned back to checking her gear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This alright?” Fjord asked quietly. In response Caleb could only nod and push into Fjord’s hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This, he identified to himself, was a giant, continuous opportunity to fuck up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next day Caleb was settled into their cart as they trundled down the road to Port Zoon. Children's laughter pierced the air more than once as Beau entertained the kids of the caravan, chasing them alongside the horses. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’s married life?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb raised an eyebrow at Jester, who seemed to have finished her drawing and was now giving Caleb ‘the eyes’ as Veth called it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not actually married to Fjord.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jester rolled her eyes. “Ok, party-pooper. But you were snuggled up with him last night over the fiiiire…” she wiggled her eyebrows as she dragged the word out. “And you’re going to have to get even </span>
  <em>
    <span>closer</span>
  </em>
  <span> when we get to town- to keep up appearances and everything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That made Caleb shift, adjust the blanket he was sitting on. “Only in public, and only for show.” He looked down and paid careful attention to the cover of his book, touching the small tear and tracing a crease. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She left him alone for a moment but didn’t turn away, so Caleb let out a short sigh and ran a hand through his hair. “We’re not- it isn’t real, Jester. You know that, right?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I was there when we decided to have you go undercover remember?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her tail flicked at him and he forced a smile. “I know, but I don’t, uhm.” He scratched his neck, looking for the words. “I don’t want you to be hurt, or worry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ohhh,” Jester leaned forward and tried to duck into his line of sight. “You don’t want me to be jealous?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb winced and felt his face flush. “Well. Yeah. I know you have feelings for him. It must be difficult to watch us…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jester moved  back and picked up her sketchbook again. “That’s really sweet of you Caleb. Looking out for me like that. But don’t worry, you can kiss Fjord all you want. I don’t mind.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The choking cough that Caleb managed made her giggle and pat his back. “I’m not going to- we aren’t going to kiss!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” Jester rubbed his shoulder, “You probably will, sooner or later. To really sell it. And I won’t mind because it’s not like that, me and Fjord. There’s someone- there’s nothing there, between us.” She clutched her sketchbook to her chest and blushed. “I know I was being silly a while back, which is super embarrassing now. He’s different, and that’s fine and I still love him, but I’m not </span>
  <em>
    <span>in love </span>
  </em>
  <span>with him, you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now Caleb could look at her, studying her face and the way she looked away and the way her thumb rubbed the spine of her sketchbook. “Ok,” he said numbly, thrown by the conversation. “As long as you are alright.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am,” Jester grinned. “And I really hope I get to see you guys kiss, because I need a reference for this one drawing and,” she flipped open her sketchbook and Caleb blinked, trying to take in the different forms drawn on the page, “so if you guys could do this pose that would be really helpful! Here, I’ll ask Fjord too!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hopped up and moved to the front of the cart, where Fjord was sitting with Caduceus, and Caleb had to scramble to stop her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait!” He grabbed her elbow just as she touched Fjord’s shoulder, parting the curtain that kept the cool air out. Both she and Fjord turned to look at him and he shrunk under their combined confused gazes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s up?” Fjord asked. “Everything ok?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb looked at Jester pleadingly and felt his face warm with a blush. “Ja, everything is fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you not want me to ask about the kissing then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shit. Caleb swallowed hard and looked between her and Fjord, whose eyes went wide. “Kissing?” Fjord’s voice broke at the end of the word.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jester frowned slightly at Caleb. “Yeah, I was going to ask if you guys were gonna kiss at all but maybe Caleb doesn’t want to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was what death must feel like, Caleb thought. His hand was frozen on Jester’s elbow and he found he couldn’t speak, immoble from sheer embarrassment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh…” Fjord looked between them again, his own face flushing slightly before he frowned and turned back to the road. “Whatever, I’m not- it’s whatever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jester let Caleb tug her back into the cart, and he finally exhaled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...but my references…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>--</span>
  <span></span><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb realized he was dreading dinner about halfway through the afternoon when Veth and Yasha came back to the caravan with a stag they managed to kill. Beau was talking about how it would be nice to get a roast going and Fjord chimed in they would be eating better in the city.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course nothing could stop the passage of time. Caleb did his best to act like nothing was wrong but things fell apart when everyone settled around the fire to eat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Scootch,” Veth pointed at Caleb and Fjord. “Come on, don’t make me manhandle you two again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb’s shoulders started to rise, but it was Fjord that shot back at Veth, “Leave it alone Veth. We aren’t in the city yet, there isn’t anyone to put a show on for.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you’re going to walk through the city gates and instantly be able to pass as a loving married couple?” She folded her arms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Also you can put on a show for me,” Jester said quietly into her food. Beau snorted and stuck out her tongue at Yasha, who smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll make it work,” Caleb argued, but it was hardly loud enough to carry over the fire. Still, Fjord turned to throw him a glance before going back to frowning at Veth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve had about enough meddling in this, to be honest,” Fjord made a fist and pressed it into his thigh. “I appreciate everyone doing me a favor, you especially Caleb. I hate making you uncomfortable. But we have a plan, and there’s no need to harass Caleb about it. Alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Veth made a harrumphing noise. “Already being protective of him, that’s nice. But you two still wouldn’t convince a blind man you’re interested in eachother.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She has a point,” Beau said, and tossed Caleb a half-frown. “I know you’re particular about affection but you’ve been avoiding Fjord all night. You sure you’re up for this gig?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can do it,” Caleb had to clear his throat. “I can do it, it’s just… with everyone watching it feels ingenuine.” He snapped his mouth shut, immediately regretting his choice of words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The fire crackled in the silence and Caleb set his food aside. “It’s late, we will be in Zoon tomorrow. I’ll take third watch.” He stood before anyone could say anything and walked quickly back to the cart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Caleb, wait.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course, Caleb bit his lip and paused with his hand on the side of the cart. Of course Fjord wanted a word. “Sorry, Fjord, I don’t mean to be- we can make it work, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s what I wanted to ask you,” Fjord’s face was unreadable with his back to the fire. Caleb stepped back down to the ground. “You and Jester were talking about… well, I guess I hadn’t really thought of what all it meant to be married to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb licked his lips and stared at the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not that- I mean obviously there’s things we won’t have to- we aren’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> married but part of this will be-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know what you meant, Fjord,” Caleb rubbed his mouth for a second. “And Jester is… Jester. I just wanted to clear the air with respect to her feelings for you and managed to put my foot in it. Again.” He wished he could see Fjord’s face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jester’s feelings for me?” Fjord prodded, and Caleb winced. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know… the uhm, romanticising and sighing and whatnot. Sorry.” Caleb wondered if he would get lucky and spontaneously combust, or get pulled through a temporal portal, something to save him from this conversation. “I was worried about getting between the two of you. She seems ok though so… my condolences.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right.” Fjord didn’t move, and Caleb fiddled with his coat as they listened to their friends talk around the fire in the distance. “Ok. Condolences? For…?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, Caleb let his head roll back so he could stare up at the star filled sky. If nothing else he was getting more practice at screwing things up and putting his foot in his mouth. “So. You. And her. Feelings between you two. And how that complicates our fake marriage plan. Because I want to respect your feelings for each other. Which she doesn’t have, so I assumed you would be, uhm, disappointed at that insight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Caleb, I just wanted to know if </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> were ok pretending to be fake married to me. I already know there’s nothing between </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jester</span>
  </em>
  <span> and me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Great. Perfect. Excellent. Caleb felt hot to the tips of his ears. “I’ll be fine,” Caleb muttered, and turned to enter their cart. “Everything’s fine, I’m going to sleep now, goodnight Fjord.” And he scrambled up into the blessed privacy of their cart. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Caleb.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb shifted and stretched. Beau was snoring lightly behind him still, and he could feel the weight of Veth across his calves. “Hmm?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said third watch Caleb.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The voice was deep and instantly recognizable. Caleb smiled lightly and pushed hair out of his face as he dragged himself from the warm pile of bodies. “I did, didn’t I.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was still rather dark, but low firelight flickered over Fjord’s face from the nearby fire. He was smiling too, at Caleb, and leaning into the cart from the driving seat. “Up and at ‘em. Here,” and he offered Caleb a hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb took it without really thinking, still blinking sleep from his eyes. Fjord’s hand was cold and that woke him up a bit more. He let Fjord help him out of the front of the cart before covering Fjord’s forearms with his hands. “You’re freezing, Fjord. You should get to bed, warm up a bit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In response Fjord snorted lightly. “And you’re burning like a furnace. Was Beau wrapped around you like a blanket, or was it Jester this time?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the mention of Jester, Caleb stiffened, suddenly remembering their awkward conversation the night before, and yanked his hands back. Fjord’s fingers dragged against his forearms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Erm, it was Beau. Get to bed, I’ll just be…” he trailed off, pointing vaguely at the nearby fire.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord lingered for a minute. “Alright. Sure. Be careful out here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm.” Caleb nodded at the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Fjord didn’t move, Caleb dragged his head up to stare over Fjord’s shoulder. “Everything alright, Fjord?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Fjord reached up and bumped his knuckles against Caleb’s shoulder gently. “As long as everything’s good with you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.” Wary that he was close to doing something stupid again, Caleb pivoted and walked toward the fire. Only when he heard the cart creak with the sound of Fjord hauling himself inside did Caleb snap his fingers and summon Frumpkin to bury his face against.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Port Zoon was nice, Caleb admitted. Maybe half the size of Nicodranas and much more… industrial. If he wasn’t so busy trying to stay in character, he would have probably liked to explore some of the more creative shops and strangely colored fires emerging from strange forges.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead he was trying to keep exactly two inches between his hand and Fjord’s as they walked through the city toward the orphanage. They didn’t need to be ‘all over each other’, he reasoned, and therefore handholding wasn’t required. But closeness was what Veth had been concerned about, so closeness he would ensure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They said the inn was around here, right?” Fjord turned to ask Caleb, and Caleb nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, he said it was just past the triple smokestack. I’d guess that building.” He pointed out the structure  with large archways leading to a small courtyard. It was situated just over the crest of the hill, with a view of the ocean. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord leaned over, into Caleb’s space, to follow his line of sight. “Ah, I see it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb forced himself to smile and tilted his head toward Fjord. “Admit it, you would get lost without me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I would,” Fjord slid a hand along Caleb’s lower back and settled it on his side. “Why do you think I married you? It certainly wasn’t for the cooking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was quite suddenly a huge problem with this plan, Caleb realized as Fjord smiled at him, all dopey and soft-eyed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was very much not only in danger of screwing everything up, but he was inevitably going to fall in love with Fjord at the same time. Nobody in their right mind could resist that smile, the charm, the touch of his hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Although there was one upside. He let Fjord hold the door to the inn open for him and waited for him to approach the innkeep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At least he wouldn’t have to try hard to put on an act of being head over heels for the man.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The view is nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ok, Caleb conceded. This was going to be tricky. Their balcony overlooked the ocean and had two comfortable lounges adorned with blankets and cushions. The room was as attractive as the view, with romantic curtains, soft curves in the architecture and furniture, and of course, a single large bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the one hand, it would be easy to pretend to be married to someone he was already fairly infatuated with. Especially someone as charming as Fjord was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the other hand, he certainly didn’t want to cross any lines or risk his friendship with the man. And harboring secret feelings for someone who only signed up for a fake relationship felt horribly lecherous. Plus, well. Caleb is </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>good at screwing things up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Case in point: his current fake marriage. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Damn,” Fjord stepped up beside him and braced a hand on the wall Caleb was leaning on. “The ocean’s gorgeous today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord was close enough Caleb could smell his armor, the treated leather and sweat. “Isn’t it always?” He asked, trying to decide if they needed to play the married couple in their rooms as well. “At least, it’s been beautiful every time I’ve seen it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wonder if I’ll ever get tired of it, sometimes.” Fjord sighed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb sighed as well and turned to look at Fjord more fully. “I doubt it. The way you look at it? Your whole heart is in it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had to steel himself when Fjord leaned down to hook his chin on Caleb's shoulder. “Hmm,” Fjord rumbled and snuck his free arm across Caleb’s stomach. “We should discuss the bounds of our marriage, don’t you think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I thought the sea would come between us,” Caleb said, and hoped Fjord couldn’t feel the way his heart had started to beat faster, “I wouldn’t have married you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The arm across his middle tightened for a quick second, tugging him back against Fjord. “Not what I meant, but good to know.” He turned his face into Caleb’s hair. “I meant the act.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” The back of Caleb’s neck got hot, then his cheeks. “I might defer to your wisdom on that. Do you think it necessary?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord’s breath was warm on his ear, his neck. It made it hard to think. And Fjord took his time responding. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe,” was what he finally said. “We aren’t just trying to mislead the matron. Sabien might have a crew, we could use the cover story.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great.” Caleb pushed Fjord back into their rooms and drew the curtains behind them. “Then let’s spend some alone time and make contact with Veth and the others.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the Nein had taken up residence in the nearby Cobalt Soul lodgings, cramming themselves into Beau’s offered rooms. Veth seemed slightly put out when she vaulted Caleb and Fjord’s balcony.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m staying here,” she announced and dropped herself into the cosy loveseat inside. “You two don’t need this much space, and I don’t feel like sleeping with my face in Caduceus’ armpit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb rolled his eyes and shrugged at Fjord, who in turn shrugged back. “She is pretty sneaky,” Fjord hedged, and Veth leaned forward.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, I was joking- can I really stay here? This place is bougie- look at the buttons on this pillow. A </span>
  <em>
    <span>pillow </span>
  </em>
  <span>with </span>
  <em>
    <span>buttons.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Why does a pillow need buttons?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok,” Fjord plucked the pillow from her hands, gave it a confused look, and dropped it on the bed. “I was joking too. You’re our contact with the others, Veth, you have to stay with them. Is everything going alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Veth folded her arms and wiggled deeper into the seat. Caleb smirked from the desk. “Everything’s fine, we haven’t seen or heard any sign of Sabien. Beau is going over some stuff with her people, Caduceus is out with Jester and Yasha to find if there’s a temple to the Wildmother here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With their legal papers spread out in front of him, Caleb barely spared her a glance. “You’re looking for Sabien as well?” He carefully rolled a few of the documents up and tied them with a ribbon before getting out his spellbook. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Veth pursed her lips and looked Fjord over. “I know you think he’s wrapped up in the orphanage, but he has to have other contacts in the city. Especially if the Matron is as doting as you heard. While you guys play house Beau and I are going to try and track what Sabien has been up to. Two pronged attack.” She mimicked fangs with her fingers and made a striking motion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t like it.” Fjord leaned against the desk next to Caleb. “He might get suspicious and disappear again. And we aren’t- we aren’t playing house Veth.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb turned in his chair and ignored the fact that Fjord was close enough that their legs were touching. “I don’t know, it seems like a good idea. If they can track what ship he’s using they might be able to backtrack where he’s been, maybe…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord turned and looked down at him. “You think he’d leave breadcrumbs to Vandran?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perhaps.” Caleb shrugged and didn’t meet Fjord’s eyes. “Do you deny you want to know where he is?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do want to know.” Fjord braced a hand on the desk and slouched toward Caleb. “But the focus right now is Sabien. And we need to keep our marriage cover solid if we want the Matron to like us. So,” he turned to Veth. “You probably shouldn’t stay here. Too risky.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Veth threw up her hands and went to the window overlooking the street. “Fine. We’re going to get dinner at some place called the Brass Chalice. It’s right down the street from the Cobalt Soul. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Caleb stopped her before she could open the window. “Did you see those forges? In the market? You might find some interesting things in the city.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One step ahead of you.” She tossed him a small pouch. “They’ve got some interesting firepowder. Burns different colors. They said it was a component for some spells too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb bobbled the pouch for a second and Fjord’s hand jerked out to try and grab it as well. When they looked up Veth was gone, a light breeze coming through the window.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We should probably stay here for dinner,” Fjord said. Caleb nodded and opened the pouch to inspect its contents. “Try to establish ourselves to the regulars, get a lay of the land.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm,” Caleb hummed in agreement and rubbed the powder between his fingers. Likely phosphorus and some other alchemical ingredient, judging by the smell and texture. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Probably should see if anyone is staying in the rooms next to ours. And I’d rather know sooner than later if this place is used by any shady types.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb pulled out his component pouch and opened it, taking a dropper and some oil out as well as a small mixing plate. “Sure,” he muttered, his mind already listing potential uses. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And then after dinner maybe we should fuck on the balconey to really sell the bit. You know, stake my claim and get people to avoid us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took a minute for that to sink in as Caleb made a paste out of the power, He was in the middle of smearing it onto a scrap of paper when it did. Heat rose in his face and he looked up at Fjord with wide eyes. “Wait, what do you mean fuck on the-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord was smirking at him fondly. “You disappeared into that new toy in ten seconds flat. Am I really so boring?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No, Caleb thought as he tried to swallow. No, the problem was that Fjord </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> boring. The problem was that if Caleb wasn’t careful, he was going to get caught doing something like sighing after Fjord, or leaning into his warmth, or ogling his incredible arms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Which, alright, he was probably allowed to do in public since they were ‘married’. But in private he had to keep a lid on things. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At least the rest of the Nein wound’t be around to see Caleb make an absolute idiot out of himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So,” Fjord chucked Caleb under the chin and pushed off from the desk, crossing the room and calling over his shoulder, “dinner?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How long have you two been together?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb bit his lip instead of the potato he was trying to chew and winced. Fjord, on the other hand, grinned at the barmaid and winked at Caleb, easy as anything. “Just a year so far,” he replied, and raised his beer in a salute. “To many more ahead of us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Trying to keep up meant swallowing heavily and mimicking the salute. “I can’t wait,” Caleb rasped, and took a long pull.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y’all are sweet,” the barmaid smiled at them. “And it’s nice, seein’ folk makin’ it work. You in town for a job?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb’s eyes darted to meet Fjord’s. Hesitantly he covered Fjord’s hand with his own. “Looking for a place to settle down,” he replied. He was aiming for soft, trying to look at Fjord like he would a lover, a partner. But he wasn’t really sure what that felt like, so instead he just admired the view Fjord’s open collar offered and the relaxed look on his face. “Might be here, might be further north.” Turning his attention to the barmaid, “Do you know of the local Matron?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded quickly. “Yep! Matron Shel is great, she looks after those kids like they’re her own. She’s real protective like, but I’m sure she’ll take a liking to you.” She directed that last bit at Fjord and Caleb sighed. Everyone took a liking to Fjord. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope so,” Fjord rubbed his thumb over Caleb’s wrist. “Family is rather important to us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The quirk in his mouth made Caleb smile in return. Family. Caleb tried not to think about the reality- that he would likely never have kids, that Fjord was going to retire and have lots of children with his future wife and Caleb would probably end up dead in a dungeon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.” Caleb blinked. The barmaid was moving on, attending to another table. Fjord tugged on Caleb’s hand, trying to drag his attention back. “Where did you go? You looked sad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just thinking,” Caleb waited until the room grew loud enough before he leaned toward Fjord. “You’ll be a great father someday, Fjord.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The look Fjord gave him in return was hard to decipher. Caleb wasn’t sure if he had overstepped, or if he had somehow said something inappropriate, but it seemed like he fucked up the moment so he withdrew his hand from Fjord’s and turned back to his plate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They made it to their floor, arms brushing comfortably and stomachs full of a hearty meal for the first time in a week. Once they started down the hall to their room, Caleb spotted a couple kissing passionately against another door. Out of habit he studied their faces, tried to determine if he’d seen them before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord’s hand slid into his and he reflexively gripped it before letting Fjord tangle their fingers together. He was smirking, Caleb noticed, glancing between him and the other couple. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Looks like we do have neighbors,” he whispered into Caleb’s ear. They had to squeeze past where the couple was wrapped around each other, letting Fjord pull him down the hall to their own room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” one of the strangers giggled and started unlocking their door. She looked like she had some dwarvish heritage, but the man seemed like he was all human. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No problem,” Caleb muttered in response, and felt Fjord release his hand to loop instead around his waist. As he turned back, confused, Fjord tugged him against his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their faces were suddenly very close and Caleb started. “Hey,” Fjord smiled and nuzzled into Caleb’s cheek. “Just wanted to make sure they knew you were spoken for.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Obviously,” Caleb let his hands settle on Fjord’s shoulders and listened for the sound of a door closing again. “From what I’ve heard, half-orcs can be rather territorial of their mates.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord pulled back, looking down the hall then frowning down into Caleb’s face. “Where’d you hear that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t like Caleb could just tell Fjord he read it in a textbook on various species, because that would likely be putting his foot even further in his mouth, so instead he blurted out, “Rumor mill.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course someone else started coming down the hall, and he and Fjord were just standing in front of their door. Caleb looked back, trying to see who it was, but Fjord grabbed his chin and pulled Caleb’s mouth to his which sufficiently distracted Caleb from his recon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord’s mouth was soft, and warm, and gentle against Caleb’s. It took a second for his brain to come online, so shocked that Fjord was </span>
  <em>
    <span>kissing him</span>
  </em>
  <span>, they hadn’t talked about this yet, they hadn’t made any </span>
  <em>
    <span>rules </span>
  </em>
  <span>or </span>
  <em>
    <span>plans</span>
  </em>
  <span> and Fjord turned them so he was leaning against the doorframe and pulling Caleb onto his tiptoes and dipping his head further to push against Caleb’s mouth more firmly and oh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>shit.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb’s hands bunched Fjord’s shirt at his shoulders as he held on, glad Fjord was holding him up because he didn’t trust he could stand on his own right then. Just as he was gathering himself to push back, to tilt into Fjord’s mouth and maybe try to lick into that warmth, a door down the hall closed and Fjord instantly pushed Caleb back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” Fjord whispered, and turned to open their door. “Here, let’s get inside.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was that weird?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure? You look like you’re a little weirded out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“... was it bad?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! It was great! I mean, you’re a very good kisser. Well done.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good. I mean, thanks?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to work on that powder Veth gave me, so if you-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah! Sure! Totally! I’m going to- I’m going to meditate. To the wildmother. For? The wildmother?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“On the balcony.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That makes sense.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, I’ll be back in a little while.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The powder was definitely a phosphorus mix. Caleb had a page of notes and an idea of how to use it and was in the middle of writing out a theory for what the other components were when Fjord’s hand slid up next to his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb straightened and looked around. It was getting late, the sky having gone completely dark and the candles low. Fjord was leaned down next to him, glancing over his notes. “A firestarter?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Caleb picked up and dropped a coated piece of scrap paper. “It burns intensely, but slowly. I think if I can isolate the ingredients I might be able to-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need to sleep, Caleb.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That meant sleeping with Fjord, so Caleb flexed his fingers. “I’ll be along in a minute.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The green hand retreated from his desk. Caleb started to relax, but Fjord just dragged Caleb’s chair and turned it to face him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Fjord started. He was frowning. “I’m sorry about earlier. Kissing you. I know you don’t like being touched.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb swallowed. Fjord was in casual clothes, clearly something he meant to sleep in, and it made him look entirely too comfortable. “Like I said- it's fine. We’re going to have to be pretty close for this whole trick to work.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At least the bed is pretty big.” They both turned to look at the bed and while it was larger than most he’d stayed in, it still didn’t seem like enough space to Caleb. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you have a preference?” He asked, and Fjord’s mouth twitched. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not really,” and he bit his lip. “I’m pretty impartial, so whatever you prefer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb had no idea what Fjord was so amused with, so he pushed himself out of his chair and closed up his books. “Alright, I’ll stay on the left side as best I can then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fair enough.” Fjord rounded the right side and pulled back the blankets. “Tomorrow we can stop by the orphanage, try to meet the Matron.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rooms included a washroom, so Caleb retreated there to prepare for bed. Splashed water on his face, changed into sleep clothing. He was about to leave when Jester’s voice, from a memory long past, rang in his head and he paused to sniff himself. He smelled slightly of chemicals, and smoke, and the old leather of his book holsters. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hopefully Fjord’s nose wasn’t so sensitive he would notice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was already under the covers when Caleb emerged, adjusting his pillow and settling into the bed with a sigh. When Caleb stepped over to his side of the bed, Fjord tossed him a glance over his shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This bed is insanely soft.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That made Caleb chuckle. “It’s an expensive room, I’d be more upset if it </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>mindblowingly comfortable.” Despite himself Caleb let out a soft noise when he slid under the sheets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could feel Fjord’s gaze on his face and turned to see Fjord grinning smugly. “Told you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rolling his eyes, Caleb turned over to his side, away from Fjord’s radiating silent ‘I told you so’. But to himself, in the dark, he grinned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mr. Felsen!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb turned immediately. He and Fjord were at the door to the inn, leaving to feign interest in the area and wander to the orphanage. After a beat Fjord turned as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The barmaid from the night before was smiling and coming toward them. “Hello,” Caleb greeted politely and tried to smile back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” she held out two parcels, small, wrapped in cheap butchers paper. “I figured y’all might want some breakfast, since I didn’t see you ‘round the tavern this morning.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sandwiches were warm. Caleb held them to his chest, surprised. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s very kind of you,” Fjord smiled and put a hand on the back of Caleb’s neck. “We were a bit tired from travel- been on the road too long, needed to catch up on our rest.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled again, this time looking a little flustered. Caleb decided his initial dismissal of her as uninteresting and unimportant might have been hasty. She was tall and broad, brown shoulder length hair, light brown eyes big and framed with thick lashes. She was pretty, Caleb admitted. And there, he finally noticed as she tucked her hair behind slightly pointed ears, a delicate band on her ring finger. So, likely not flirting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” she said, and glanced back towards the kitchen. “Are you gonna see the Matron today?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb wanted to lie, deflect, and mislead, but Fjord’s thumb rubbed a sensitive spot under his ear and distracted him. “We sure are. Trying to find a good neighborhood- somewhere he might pick up work as a tutor perhaps. My insanely smart husband has to keep busy or he’ll end up writing a book again. But then the orphanage is our second stop.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The barmaid chuckled behind her hand. “Mine’s like that too- he has to have some project or he’ll start tearing the house apart just so he can put it back together. All that smart has to go somewhere, I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They shared a laugh and Caleb… felt endeared. Fjord’s hand was so warm on his neck, steadying and soothing all at once. The barmaid was, well, nice. The inn was nice. Their rooms were nice. Maybe that was why Caleb was on edge- whenever things seemed to go well, it usually ended up exploding in his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When you see the Matron, will you tell her Bizla said hi?” She pointed at herself. “I’m Bizla, by the way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lovely to meet you,” Caleb finally said, and shook her hand warmly. “I’m Caleb, this is my husband Fjord.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice to meet y’all properly.” Bizla grinned and flapped her hands at them. “I won’t keep you any longer, just wanted to make sure y’all got something to eat before you headed out.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb lifted the sandwiches, “Thank you, again.” Fjord nodded and slipped his hand down to Caleb’s shoulder, tugging him along. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s nice,” Fjord said as they started down the street. Caleb handed him a sandwich, which he started into immediately. “Funny how that happens when you’re around.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eh?” Caleb tucked his own sandwich into his pack but turned to look at Fjord. “What are you on about? She took to you, not me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Down the street Caleb spotted a bookshop, Ennel’s Scriptorium, and picked up his pace. “That’s not what I saw,” Fjord mumbled, but kept pace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door to the shop hit a bell and chimed, and Caleb pushed into the musty room eagerly. Stacks of scrolls mostly populated the shelves but one wall was solid books. He bee-lined to the first shelf and started skimming the titles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello hello,” a voice said behind him, and he half turned to see an elven man lean against the counter across the room. “Another bibliophile, lovely! Here to buy? Anything to trade?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Likely just to buy,” Fjord answered as he trailed after Caleb. “But you’re right- you’ve found a fellow book lover for certain.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello,” Caleb smiled quickly at the shopkeep before looking down and away. “You have quite a collection.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I try.” The shopkeep, likely Ennel, chuckled. “And I can see a wizard a mile away. No spellbooks for sale right now, though. A few spellscrolls though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At that Caleb turned fully away from the shelves. “Spellscrolls you say?” Ennel ducked behind the counter and emerged with a small piece of paper and a pair of glasses, the latter of which he settled onto his nose. Drawn in, Caleb inched toward him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, in the back- looks like I have a few copies of </span>
  <em>
    <span>Magic Missile, </span>
  </em>
  <span>a couple </span>
  <em>
    <span>Snare</span>
  </em>
  <span>, one </span>
  <em>
    <span>Blur,</span>
  </em>
  <span> two </span>
  <em>
    <span>Misty Steps</span>
  </em>
  <span>, a </span>
  <em>
    <span>Skywrite, </span>
  </em>
  <span>and…” he trailed off, squinting at his writing for a moment. “Oh, right, someone convinced me to buy something new, called it </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fingers of Frost </span>
  </em>
  <span>or something similarly descriptive.” He looked up from his paper at Fjord and raised his eyebrows as if to imply something about wizards. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord stifled a snort and tilted his head in agreement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Either Caleb was ignoring the silent commentary or he was too distracted to notice. “What are you asking for the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Blur</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One hundred gold.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb grimaced and pulled out his money satchel. Sighing, Fjord returned to the book wall. “Do you have any interesting titles?” he asked as Caleb counted coins onto the counter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Depends,” Ennel circled his counter and wandered over to Fjord. “Genre?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord shrugged. “History is good, I’d take anything about the ocean as well though. Or maybe gardening?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ennel laughed through his nose and plucked a book from a stack on top of the shelves, then traced his way further into the shop and pulled another from knee height. “One </span>
  <em>
    <span>Subnautic Subcultures </span>
  </em>
  <span>and one </span>
  <em>
    <span>The Height of Sepesca.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Five silver each.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sound of coins still being placed carefully on the counter made Fjord smile and shake his head before he reached into his own bag and pulled out a handful of platinum. Ennel, for his part, didn’t blink at the sight of the currency.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One hundred and ten gold,” Fjord dropped the money into Ennel’s hand. “And our goodwill- he’ll likely be back for more. Wizards,” he intoned, and jerked his head at Caleb.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ennel’s smile curled over his face slowly. “Wizards indeed. I’ll get that scroll for you, mister…?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fjord,” Fjord ducked his head and took the books from Ennel. “Fjord and Caleb Felsen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The books were tucked away as Ennel disappeared behind a door. Caleb stopped counting and looked up when Fjord rubbed his shoulder again. Fjord was very tactile, it seemed. “Where did-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s getting the scroll,” Fjord glanced out the front windows of the shop. “Are you really taking that long to count or is someone following us?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m counting,” Caleb grumbled. “It’s not cheap, amassing spells.” He straightened the stacks of platinum and gold, then rested his hands on the counter. “And I need paper on top of that scroll, if I want to use it more than once. I’m running low on some supplies too. Hopefully we won’t be getting into any fights soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>People walked by the shop, mostly humans and dwarves. Fjord sighed. “I really hope we don’t as well- seeing as we are visiting an </span>
  <em>
    <span>orphanage</span>
  </em>
  <span> today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb looked up at him, and Fjord only held out another moment before his face split into a grin. “You jest,” Caleb accused, “but I have long given up the ability to relax with you lot. We’ve been able to sniff out trouble where there literally is none. Keeping you safe has taken most of my attention.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ennel emerged again and Fjord squeezed Caleb’s arm gently. “I know, I know. Get your paper- I already paid for the scroll.” He held out his hand and Ennel handed the curl of thick paper over with a smile. As Caleb’s mouth dropped slightly, Fjord leaned into his ear and whispered, “And try to relax. I’ve got you.” Then he nodded at Ennel and made his way to the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How much paper did you need, Mister Felsen?” Ennel asked, and Caleb snapped his attention from watching Fjord walk away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This much,” he replied, and pushed his pile of money across the counter. He hoped it would distract Ennel from the blush burning his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He really needed to get a grip, he decided as Ennel wrapped up his purchase. If he kept blushing like a virgin everytime Fjord was charming, someone was bound to catch on. Possibly even Fjord himself.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Fjord hummed and blocked the sun from his eyes as he scanned the courtyard. “What do you think?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was nice, if a little chaotic. This close to noon there were plenty of people milling around, making purchases from carts and stalls, weaving around each other. From his spot at the edge of a well, Caleb tracked the movement of bodies like a tide.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Busy.” He finally replied, and scrunched his nose with distaste. “Too many variables.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Fjord let his hand drop and it bumped against Caleb’s. “Lots of commerce though. People hang around, frequent the area.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steeling himself, Caleb let his fingers tangle with Fjord’s. “I figured you would want to live further out. Near the docks, the ocean.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I do.” Fjord didn’t react to the hand holding. “But your work is more city-centered.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Martyr,” Caleb scoffed while looking away, and the hair on the back of his neck stood up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Someone was watching him. He only caught a glimpse, a man across the courtyard, eyes locked on Caleb, before the crowds blocked his view and the man was gone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord freed his hand and looped it around Caleb’s waist, pulling him to Fjord’s side. “What’s wrong?” he whispered as he kissed Caleb’s temple.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a sharp inhale Caleb turned and faced Fjord with a tight smile. “Someone was watching us,” he whispered, and tilted his head as if sharing a moment with his husband. “Across the courtyard, masculine, dark eyes, mask. About my height. Lost track of him though.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Instead of turning to look, or responding, Fjord stared into Caleb’s eyes. His brows slowly drew in, his own eyes narrowing slightly. “Someone you knew?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No idea.” Caleb circled to Fjord’s front and sighed. “Still want to go to the orphanage?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“More than before.” Fjord slid his hands over Caleb’s waist. “We’ll have to put on a good show, if we have an audience.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right,” Caleb tamped down the flutter in his chest. “Anything particular in mind?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Depends.” Fjord dropped his gaze, looking almost… abashed?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“On?” Caleb pressed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is it alright if I... “ Fjord’s voice was deeper and more gravelly than normal, and he cleared his throat nervously. “Would it be alright if I kissed you again?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb swallowed and his sight snapped to Fjord’s lips instinctively. Would it be alright? He wondered if Fjord would be as willing to play this game if he knew Caleb couldn’t sleep the night before because he was haunted by the memory of his lips. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure,” he said instead, and looked away from Fjord’s mouth. “I’m not actually that uncomfortable with physical affection, Fjord. Just… learning to trust people is the hard part.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord’s hand touched Caleb’s neck, his jaw, his chin. “Do you trust me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>To my death, Caleb thought. To the ends of all the worlds. “Yes.” He said instead, because Fjord looked like he was nervous, and Caleb learned to hunt as a child, and under Trent. Learned how to move slowly and hide his intentions. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was pulled closer then, gently, by the hand still on his waist, and he braced himself by propping his hands onto Fjord’s shoulders. Again. Remembering the previous night he curled his fingers into the fabric. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It isn’t real, Caleb told himself over and over. Fjord is charming and sweet and lovely but this isn’t for him. This isn’t for me. He needed to put his feelings, and the memory of all of this intimacy, into a little box. Because it wasn’t real, and Caleb wanted to only deal in reality. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Which was hard to remember when Fjord’s face relaxed the closer he got, when his eyelids drooped as he honed in on Caleb’s mouth before they closed entirely, when Fjord’s gentle hand on the back of Caleb’s neck scratched into his scalp gently and sent goosebumps over his whole body. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Fjord kissed him, all gentle but eager. When Fjord’s nose pressed next to his. When Caleb could feel the bump of Fjord’s tusks. When the instinctive ambient data gathering his brain seemed to silence itself for a few blissful moments. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord pulled away, smiling even before Caleb could open his eyes, and ran his fingers through Caleb’s hair. “Okay. Was that… okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re good at this,” Caleb admitted, figuring he could at least assuage Fjord’s lack of ego. “Considerate. Gentle. It’s nice.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord smiled wider, raising an eyebrow. “Yeah?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rolling his eyes, Caleb nudged Fjord’s shoulder. “Yes, Fjord, you are a good kisser. I can’t complain about the hardship. Woe is me, for having to endure your affections.” Caleb raised a wrist to his forehead in mock distress.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was the right move apparently. Fjord laughed, body relaxing as he rubbed a thumb over Caleb’s side. “I’m glad it’s you here, Caleb,” he admitted, and they both stilled. “I just- I can’t imagine trying to put on a show with Beau, or Yasha.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They both pulled similar skeptical faces before bursting into laughter again, Caleb leaning forward to drop his head onto Fjord’s shoulder. Fjord shifted his hand to Caleb’s back, under his coat, and continued rubbing gently. When the laughter trailed off Caleb rubbed an eye idly, and shook his head. “I’m trying to picture Beau’s face,” he hissed, and Fjord nodded along, “when she would have realized this meant kissing you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Panic,” Fjord suggested, “panic and then large amounts of alcohol.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb sighed. “That wouldn’t look good, showing up drunk to meet the Matron.” He trailed off, scanning the courtyard again. “But Jester…?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He hated that he even asked the second her name was out of his mouth. Fjord’s mouth tightened and he looked down. “I know she- I know she wanted something there. But trying to fake something with her would be… unbearable.” He let out a heavy breath. “Trying to be respectful of her feelings while it was all show… I don’t know how friendship could endure that, you know?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cold settled into Caleb’s fingers. “Yeah,” he nodded absently. “But, there isn’t anything there. Between you two now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Like I said,” Fjord shrugged. “I’m glad she’s moved on though. And we’ll be fine. Won’t we?” His hand twitched, pressing against Caleb’s back gently, his eyebrows tilting up so slightly in concern.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He can never know, Caleb swore to himself. There was no going back now. He could never know, or it would ruin everything. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course,” he forced himself to smile. “We’ll figure out what Sabien is up to, and impress the Matron, and learn everything you are looking for. And this,” he gestured between them, “will be just the same as it was before.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord’s smile was crooked, still half-concerned, and Caleb nudged his shoulder again before stepping back. “Come on,” he jerked his head toward the direction of the orphanage, “ready to turn up your charm?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>---</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The orphanage was surprisingly well kept. Caleb wasn’t sure if he was expecting squalor, or perhaps he just hadn’t thought the city would maintain such services, but he was wrong. A guard was stationed at the front door of a nice building with a yard. A dog was chasing a child around inside the fencing, and an older teen was sitting at a table watching them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is nice,” he commented, and Fjord touched his back again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It is.” He sounded almost forlorn, so Caleb turned and studied his friend. He looked wistful, but still sad. “Where I grew up we-” he bit his lip. “This is nice.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb was touching his cheek before he could stop himself, and Fjord looked to him with a startled expression. His right hand smoothed across the side of Fjord’s face and slid to his neck. “Whenever you want to leave, we can leave.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord studied him right back, searching for something. Caleb schooled his features into as neutral of an expression as he could. “Thanks,” he finally muttered, and led Caleb up the steps.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Another young adult was sitting at a table in the entry room, going over a few ledgers. They looked up when Caleb and Fjord entered, eyes darting between them. “Can I help you with something?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Fjord tucked his hands into his pockets and rocked back onto his heels a bit. “We were hoping to meet with the Matron? Matron Shel?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The kid stood up, flipping the books closed and stacking them when Caleb moved further to try and get a peek. He stopped next to Fjord and slipped an arm around Fjord’s waist. “We’re looking to settle down and start a family,” he explained, and smiled at the kid. “My husband was raised in an orphanage, we wanted to adopt as well.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now the kid looked at Fjord with interest. “You’re an orphan?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He nodded. “Came up in Port Damali.” Fjord held out a hand. “Fjord Felsen, nice to meet you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yuval,” the kid’s eyes grew large, taking in Fjord’s well made clothes, the fine ring on his finger, the scar across his face. Fjord shook their hand and smiled at the interest. “C’mon, Matron’s out back right now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They followed Yuval through the building and Caleb noted the clean rooms, and though the decorations were sparse everything was well cared for. He couldn’t help but wonder at how empty everything felt though.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Through the back they watched the smaller child chase a ragged looking dog across the yard. Against the back fence was the foundation of a small shed, with a few bits of wall going up and a tidy garden alongside it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A tall orc woman, with greying black hair and deep bluish grey skin was leaning on a work table next to the garden. She looked up and narrowed her gaze at the sight of them. “Yuval, who is this?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Matron Shel,” Yuval twisted their hands and shot Fjord a sideways glance, “This is Fjord, he was in an orphanage in Port Damali, he’s-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shel’s demeanor shifted and she stood up straight. “Oh,” she wiped her hands on her apron, and glanced between Fjord and Caleb. “Sorry, I thought- sorry. I’m Matron Shel. Yuval you can get back to your studies.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yuval lingered though, looking over Fjord one more time before Shel made a waving motion and they skittered back into the building. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Caleb stepped forward and held out a hand. Shel took it with a nod. “We’ve heard good things of you. I’m Caleb, Caleb Felsen. This is-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fjord Felsen,” Fjord shook her hand next and added a small half bow over it. “Pleased to meet you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shel nodded and let out a breath. “Huh. You’re married?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb looked at Fjord, who met his eyes and smiled lightly. “Yeah,” Fjord replied, “Just over a year now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Funny for an Empire kid to be running around with an orc,” Shel raised an eyebrow and Caleb blinked. “Funnier still they don’t have wedding bands. Isn’t that a normal part of marriage vows?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord raised a hand but Caleb spoke first. “I’d trade the whole empire to have Fjord at my side,” he raised an eyebrow at Shel in turn. “He’s the best man I’ve ever met. If he wants a ring, I’ll buy him a thousand. If he wants a marriage tattoo, I’ll cover my body. We do what works for us. Matron Shel.” He dipped his head at the end in deference and bit off the scathing words he wanted to throw. They weren’t really together, he reminded himself. There wasn’t a reason to get heated. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ve been on the road,” Fjord added, and put a hand between Caleb’s shoulderblades. Caleb leaned into the touch. “Travel from the empire was… harrowing. We got in the habit of hiding what precious things we had. This,” he pointed to his fire resistance ring, “is powerful magic, but I’d lose it over our rings to bandits any day.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shel huffed, still eying Caleb until Fjord physically put himself between them. “Sure. You went into the Empire and found yourself a backwoods human to marry. Alright, I’ll buy it. But I don’t let adventurers take my kids as squires.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shit. Caleb rubbed his forehead nervously. She pegged them as adventurers faster than he imagined. This wasn’t going to be as easy as he hoped. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No ma’am,” Fjord ducked his head again. “I wouldn’t begrudge you of that. But we’re retired.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m a teacher now,” Caleb said. “A tutor. We wanted to find a place where he can work the docks and I could find work in a school. The strain between the Empire and the Dynasty has pushed us back to his roots.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The dog darted between them, and the small child followed in turn. Caleb watched them go by with a smile. Shel’s mouth twitched. “Fine. I’m not saying I buy it, but I’ll hear you out. C’mon inside.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>---</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I feel like I just went a round with a low grade interrogator.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord coughed out a laugh, instinctively bringing his hand up to cover his mouth as he turned to stare accusingly at Caleb. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Caleb pushed his hands into his pockets and scanned the street. They weren’t far from the hotel, but he wanted to meet up with Veth again. “She gave me the third degree in there, don’t try to deny it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure,” Fjord shook his head, “I told you, she’s good for the kids.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And wary.” Caleb paused on a street corner and turned to Fjord. “I didn’t get a single look at any books. She was on us like a hawk.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord smiled and tilted his head. “Yeah, I suppose this might take a little while. We’ll have to earn her trust first.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And there’s only those three kids. At least that I saw.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That made Fjord frown. “I was expecting more. This size city, a port, a war starting nearby? Should be a few more children there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Small blessings.” Caleb muttered, and Fjord nodded. “At least we have a bit of an in though.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s that?” Fjord looped his arms around Caleb’s waist casually, as if he’d done it a thousand times before. With only a moment of hesitation, Caleb reciprocated by bringing his arms around Fjord’s neck.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She needs help building that shed. Needs a big strong man to come help her out with manual labor.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That made Fjord grin, an honest toothy grin. “I’m a big strong man? You needn’t flatter me, Caleb, I already put a ring on it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They both paused. “About that,” Caleb bit his lip. “Looks like we need to do some shopping.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord hummed an affirmative and dipped his head down to nuzzle Caleb’s cheek. “Nice scruff you have going,” he said. Caleb bit his lip.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry, I didn’t think about, uhm. Would you like me to shave? So it isn’t as weird when we ki-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was cut off when Fjord drew back enough to press a kiss to the corner of his lips. “It’s alright,” Fjord smirked. “You look good with a bit of a rugged appearance. When you’re clean shaven you look more like a stuffy academic.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Gross.</span>
  </em>
  <span> The voice popped into Caleb’s head and he stiffened. Fjord pulled back, an apology on his lips, but Caleb shook his head. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Can you two cut the PDA and meet us at the Brass Chalice? You can reply to this message.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ja,” Caleb replied and rubbed Fjord’s neck comfortingly. “Let me drop something off in our room and we will head that way.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord’s eyebrows climbed. “Someone check in?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course,” Caleb pulled away and led Fjord towards the inn. “Veth thinks we were being gross. She wants us to meet up with them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh did she?” Fjord sounded pleased, like he was planning something, and Caleb shook his head. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on, I don’t want it to look suspicious that we came back to the inn only to turn around at the last second.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord hooked Caleb’s pinky into his own and bumped their shoulders together. “When married people are trying to have a kid,” he muttered, turning towards Caleb as they stepped into the inn’s garden, “don’t they tend to spend a lot of time in their bedrooms?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Despite his best effort, Caleb knew he was blushing. “Fjord,” he had to swallow. “Fjord, if I have to explain the birds and the bees to you, and how two bees can’t really conceive, we are going to have a very bad evening.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are we bees in this scenario?” There was laughter in Fjord’s voice, which helped. “Actually, you know what- I have no idea why they say birds and bees. What does that have to do with sex?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb actually rolled his eyes. “Either way, we don’t have any reason to be boning down more than normal.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh I certainly disagree.” But Fjord resumed his path to their rooms. They both smiled and waved at Bizla, who was working in the tavern. “I think any attempt to bring a child into a home would be like an aphrodisiac.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There wasn’t much Caleb could say to that. He knew Fjord was joking with him, trying to keep the mood light. But the subject matter was only serving to wind him up. “If you want to spend more time in our room, you need only to say so. I always have work I can get done.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The hallway on their floor was empty. Caleb let them into their room and pulled the paper he had bought out of his bag. “Can you store this?” he asked, turning back to Fjord and holding the parcel out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Course.” Fjord slid it into the bag of holding before he tipped over onto the bed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Within their rooms, Caleb let himself relax. Fjord wouldn’t act like his husband here, where they couldn’t be seen, so he didn’t have to worry about acting the appropriate amount of infatuated with the man. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You didn’t answer my question though,” he said, moving to the washroom.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord tilted his head back to watch Caleb cross the room and Caleb had to sternly keep himself from ogling the sight of Fjord on the bed, neck extended, sprawled across the blankets. “Which question was that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you want me to shave?” He rubbed his cheek and gauged the coarseness of his beard. “I know we aren’t going to have to do anything rigorous in public, but if it will be more comfortable for you I don’t mind.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I said it’s alright, didn’t I?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb heaved a sigh and leaned against the bathroom doorframe with one shoulder. “Still. For someone accustomed to kissing women, it probably isn’t much fun getting scratched.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Huh.” Fjord kept his eyes on Caleb and reached up to scrub his own beard. “It didn’t really occur to me. Doesn’t bother me at all. Do you…” Fjord trailed off, and he looked at Caleb curiously, hands stilling on his face as if he was thinking hard on something.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I like your beard,” Caleb told him. It was the truth. Fjord didn’t need to know </span>
  <em>
    <span>how much </span>
  </em>
  <span>Caleb liked it. “Don’t shave it.” Alright, maybe he was showing his hand a little, but Fjord was </span>
  <em>
    <span>looking at him, </span>
  </em>
  <span>from a bed, with his neck bared and Caleb was just a man. A man who wanted that beard scrubbed on him considerably more than what polite public affection would allow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It turned out to be a bit much for him, so he retreated into the washroom fully and closed the door. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The Brass Chalice was fairly nice. Fjord led Caleb over to a smaller table though, and Caleb touched his arm. “We’re meeting the others though,” he questioned, “we’ll need a bigger table.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord rubbed Caleb’s arm and glanced around the tavern. “We don’t know if anyone is watching,” he reasoned through a smile. “And there’s a big table for the others right there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had a point, so Caleb sat, and Fjord went to the bar. Despite himself Caleb watched him go. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What would it be like, he wondered, if this wasn’t a ruse? It felt so natural, at least to him, that he had a hard time picturing any differences. Not that this situation was in Caleb’s future, he reminded himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had plans. Long term plans. Dunemantic plans. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But that reminded him of the scroll that Fjord had bought for him. Fjord turned from the bar, two drinks in hand, and caught Caleb’s eye. Caleb tried to smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord bought him a spell without hesitating. Fjord bought him an </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ioun Stone without hesitating.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Fjord kept </span>
  <em>
    <span>buying </span>
  </em>
  <span>him things. Caleb wasn’t sure if he liked it or not. It was one thing to trade favors, but now he felt like Fjord was trying to pay him back literally.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s with the frown?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb blinked and Fjord pushed a drink toward him. It was dark brown and smelled of whiskey. “Sorry. I was thinking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord nodded and took a sip of his drink, so Caleb followed suit. Definitely whiskey based, and strong. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How much do I owe you, by now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now Fjord frowned. “Come again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb tapped a staccato on the side of his glass. “The Ioun stone, the spell. What’s my bill looking like these days?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To his surprise, Fjord looked sad at that. “You don’t owe me a thing, Caleb. I told you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Part of Caleb wanted to accept it. Wanted to assure Fjord there were no debts between them. He imagined, for a moment, how Fjord might react if Caleb absolved him of their blood pact. The look of relief Fjord would have. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As much as Caleb wanted to assure his friend, he found himself vehemently reluctant. The favor Fjord owed him was a bargaining chip to Caleb. He knew Fjord was lawful enough, was old fashioned enough, that even if he disagreed with what Caleb wanted he would still answer if Caleb cashed in. And besides. Blood pacts aren’t to be taken lightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb pushed his thumb into his scar and Fjord looked to the movement. The fact that Caleb knew Fjord had a matching scar made him feel something. He knew that some of Fjord’s blood was in him. That some of him was in Fjord. And that </span>
  <em>
    <span>meant </span>
  </em>
  <span>something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I appreciate that, Fjord,” he finally said. “But I’m still going to pay you back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord reached, gripped Caleb’s left hand, and flipped it over. Traced the scar there with his own hand. “It’s not about this.” He rumbled, and Caleb looked up into his eyes. “Even if we had never- you just have to ask, Caleb. You know I’d help you, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His touch was electric on Caleb’s palm. His calloused fingers, the edge of his claws. But Caleb couldn’t form words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Our relationship isn’t a transaction, is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Except he said </span>
  <em>
    <span>relationship</span>
  </em>
  <span> and Caleb wanted to get space from Fjord suddenly. It wasn’t a relationship- it was a friendship. Caleb didn’t do relationships. This was a show, a bit, a heist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>None of this was real, Caleb thought. And I deal in reality. In bending reality to my will. In reality.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His silence was too long apparently because Fjord pushed Caleb’s hand away, grabbed his drink, and turned away from Caleb. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And now Caleb’s hand felt cold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the Nein showed up within the hour, but Fjord and Caleb had been silent. The chill between them bothered Caleb, but he hoped seeing the others would soothe Fjord back to his charming self. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, look who it is!” Beau came at them immediately, punching Fjord in the shoulder and dropping into a chair at the next table. “What are the odds we run into you two here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, not terrible,” Fjord grinned and shifted to face the others. “Everyone settling in alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Remember when we used to sleep in a big pile to stay warm?” Jester took the chair across from Beau. “It’s a bit like that. I forgot how soft Caduceus is!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caduceus, in response, smiled warmly before looking between them. “Hopefully you two have been having a good time?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb watched Caduceus watch them for a second, realized he was going to pick up entirely too much information, and leaned forward. “Ja, some progress, some setbacks. Are we…” he twirled his finger in a circle as Yasha took a seat next to Beau with a nod to him and Fjord.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m getting drinks,” Veth announced. “Did you guys order yet?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll have another,” Fjord said, tipping his glass. “We haven’t eaten though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time Veth made it to the bar, Caduceus had scanned the room. “I don’t think anyone is paying attention to us here,” he finally answered Caleb.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.” Caleb crooked a finger at Beau, who leaned in further. “Veth said you were doing some investigating?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Beau smirked. “Like I was going to sit on my ass while you two suck face? No way. I got the local scribes digging up records on Sabien and his ship, who he might be working with. Then I asked them about the orphanage.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about it?” Fjord threw back the rest of his drink with a frown.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We walked by it, scoped it out this morning,” Beau shrugged. “It looked real nice, but hardly any kids.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb nodded along. “That was weird.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So I figured the city just like, cared more than usual about the kids. But nope. It’s funded by donations. City hasn’t had to pay for a thing for a few years now. Cobalt Soul looked into it, because, like you and me, they were pretty suspicious. Not a big thing though, they couldn’t find shit on them. Matron Shel is squeaky clean.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That tracks with the impression we got,” Caleb looked at Fjord, but he was scowling into his glass. “She was suspicious about us, doesn’t think we are legit commoners now. Protective of her wards is an understatement.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh huh. So you couldn’t get a look at her books?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb shook his head. “No. But we have a way in. She needs help with some things. Help we can offer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Veth came back with an armful of drinks. “They’ve got chowder tonight,” she told them before dragging a chair around so she could sit next to Caleb. “I forget- do you eat fish, Cad?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Caduceus lifted a shoulder. “It’s alright though, I can find-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry,” Veth waved her hand at him, cutting him off. “I told them to get us some veggies anyway.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord scooped up the drink Veth pushed in front of him and took a long pull. Caleb frowned at that, but Fjord was still avoiding his gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, so we have a plan for the orphanage. You guys will just have to play pretend until either that comes through, or we can pull stuff out of the archive.” Beau crossed her legs and looked between them. “How’s that going? Veth says you guys looked cozy when she dropped by today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Veth’s gaze shot to Caleb over her glass, then Fjord, then back to Caleb. “Well what I said was that they were uh, they were putting on a good act.” She fiddled with the glass. “I underestimated how good of an actor Caleb is, you know, he’s so charming I should have guessed-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I come see your rooms soon?” Jester interrupted, and Veth sent Caleb a sheepish look. “Veth said they were really nice. Maybe Momma would come visit them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re no chateau,” Caleb said. “But it’s nice. A great view, wouldn’t you say Fjord?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jester tilted her head at Fjord, then looked to Caleb with a question on her face. Caleb shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cool,” Beau tilted her chair back and grinned at Yasha. “Looks like we can relax tonight then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep,” Fjord popped the P and finished his drink. “Relax.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, what happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb pursed his lips after Fjord, who was at the bar getting </span>
  <em>
    <span>another </span>
  </em>
  <span>drink. “Just a misunderstanding, I think.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau didn’t look convinced though, and Jester twirled her fork nervously. “He doesn’t normally drink this much,” Jester muttered. “He seems pretty upset.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Beau agreed, but was still studying Caleb. “More upset than someone would be after having to be cozy with Mr. Debbie Downer over here all day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb winced and looked at his lap. Beau cracked her knuckles. “Aw, come on, I didn’t- ok if it’s that bad we can figure out another way to do this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it that bad?” Yasha leaned forward, tilting her head. “I figured you guys would be good at this. You’re both so much better at…” she pressed her hands together. “You know. People stuff.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll talk to him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caduceus was up and gone before Caleb could call him back, so he went back to nervously rubbing the scar on his palm instead. “I think I put my foot in it right before you got here. Earlier today was fine. Yesterday was fine. I just…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like I said,” Veth held up her hands. “They’re great actors. Fjord probably just got ants in his pants over something stupid. You know how sensitive he is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Caleb shook his head gently and watched Caduceus lean against the bar next to Fjord. Fjord took a shot and shook his head too. Caduceus was saying something, and Fjord stared at the ceiling for a second. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, earth to Caleb.” Beau snapped in his face and he turned at the noise. “Anything else you noticed? Sabien’s people? Fjord recognize anyone?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, shit,” Caleb slapped his forehead. “There was a guy in the square today. We were there around lunch and I noticed someone watching us. My height, uh, dark eyes. Had a mask, or a scarf, covering his lower face. Brown robes maybe?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beau pulled out her journal and took notes. “Was he watchin’ you or Fjord?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Couldn’t tell.” Caleb wasn’t sure which option was worse. “I don’t think it was Sabien? But I haven’t seen the man, so I’m not sure. He disappeared as soon as he saw me see him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Spooky,” Jester lifted her shoulders and frowned. “Did you follow him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No we decided-” Caleb cut himself off. They decided to try and sell the bit. By kissing. He glanced at the four pairs of eyes watching him curiously. “We uh, just went about our business. Kept an eye out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nobody bought that, Caleb knew the second he finished speaking, but nobody called him out either. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha took Veth’s chair when the others started a dart competition. “Caleb?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi Yasha.” Caleb actually smiled at her. She was looking better, the dark circles under her eyes almost completely gone. “You’re looking well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled down at her hands. “Thanks. I uh,” she gestured at the others and glanced their way. “I talked to Beau. We talked. About stuff.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good,” Caleb hesitated, then put a hand on her forearm. “I’m happy for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah.” Yasha pushed her hair behind her ear. “I just… it made me think about uh, you. And what might make you happy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb wanted to say something reassuring, but he couldn’t make himself lie. He wanted to tear a hole in space and time and undo everything Trent made him do. He wanted to dismantle the whole corrupt institution. He didn’t want simple things- couldn’t afford to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know that you are ambitious,” Yasha continued when Caleb stayed silent. “And I want you to know I’ll help you. However I can.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The fact that she was echoing what Fjord had offered made Caleb hang his head. “Thank you,” he muttered. “I really appreciate it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to talk to Fjord?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb swallowed. “No. No it’s alright. I think- I’m just being selfish. Again.” Surprise. Caleb managed to ruin something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha was quiet. They watched their friends throw darts for a few minutes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Veth knows.” She finally said. Caleb huffed. Of course she did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Knows what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“About you.” Yasha shrugged. “About who you watch. When you think nobody is watching you. Who you try to impress. About why you were so nervous about this whole,” she shook her hand to imply chaos.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb nodded, resigned. “I’m not as stealthy as her, I suppose. She told you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. I know what it’s like though. Hiding it.” She shifted forward and leaned on her knees. “I can’t imagine being where you are. Seems rough.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s kind of a strange torture,” Caleb tilted his head and watched Beau throw a bullseye. “Risky. But I promised to help. I’ll help all of you, when you need it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s because you’re a good friend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He let out an embarrassing snort and dissolved into self-depricating laughter. “Is that what I am? Really? Here I was thinking I was a selfish creep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Meh,” Yasha finished her drink and stood. “Could be both. But you’re smart. You can be what you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Caleb expected, Fjord spent most of the night avoiding him and drinking. He didn’t get sloshed, but he was certainly buzzed enough that he wasn’t hiding the kicked puppy look as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caduceus kept an eye out for anyone watching them, and Beau made a note of who came through the tavern, and before it got too late Caleb was anxious and eager to leave. He didn’t expect Jester to be the one to orchestrate his escape though.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We should probably call it a night,” she said when everyone was back at the table. “Beau has a lot of stuff tomorrow and I wanted to spend some time with Veth in the city.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasha stood quickly. “Oh, yeah, you know, we were going to try and find another place, right Beau?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh huh yeah,” the grin Beau aimed at Yasha included a swipe of her tongue. “I almost forgot, we were gonna do that. Right.” She turned back to Caleb and mock-saluted him. “Caleb.” Then she turned to Fjord and looked more serious with it. “Captain.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord hesitated as the others began filing out, watching them leave with a focused look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need to do some work,” Caleb muttered and pushed his thumb into his scar viciously. “Was there another stop you needed to make or....?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord shook his head. “No, we can head back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They walked in silence, Caleb’s hands in his pockets and head down. At the corner before they reached the inn Fjord suddenly stopped. Caleb took another step before he followed suit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are we a transaction?” Fjord asked, voice clipped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb sighed and studied his toes, looking for the words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because I kind of thought we were friends, Caleb.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We are,” Caleb said miserably.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, good.” Fjord got that tone where Caleb knew he was actually angry. “Because for a second I thought we went back to that time where I had to check if you were still there every morning. Only, that couldn’t be, because you haven’t invented a time travelling spell yet. Have you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb’s mouth twisted into a frown. “No. I haven’t. I’ve been busy helping my friends.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That made Fjord pull up for a second. Caleb finally turned to face him. “Caleb, I can’t get a read on you 80% of the time. One second we’re best friends, the next second I can tell you’re planning something genius that’s going to change the world and I’m not a part of-” Fjord bit his lip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb waited for a question. He knew that Fjord wasn’t as patient as him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I get that… because of what you’ve been through, relying on people is hard.” Fjord had mercifully dropped his voice, but Caleb still glanced around. There were only a handful of people on the street anyway. “So if I have to be vulnerable to get you to do the same, then fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> to help you, Caleb, because I </span>
  <em>
    <span>care </span>
  </em>
  <span>about you. I don’t do it because I want something from you, or because I want you to pay me back. If you make that time spell and go back and undo our bond- undo what we-” Fjord reached out and grabbed Caleb’s hand, turning his so both of their palms were facing up. “I’d still be there when you asked. This could disappear tomorrow and if you told me we were going to teleport into Iky Thong’s tower I’d be right there with you. Do you understand?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” Caleb sniffed. “Not really.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord huffed, frustrated. “Fine. Wrong question. Do you </span>
  <em>
    <span>trust </span>
  </em>
  <span>me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The scars on their hands weren’t perfect copies, the jagged cut being different and the way they healed unique. But it was obvious what they were. Caleb knew, no matter what, or where they went, that when Fjord looked at his hands he thought of Caleb. Fjord had cut his hand and clasped Caleb’s and Fjord was old fashioned and Fjord </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> what it meant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do.” Caleb exhaled. “I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I tell you what I need now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb looked up instantly, searching Fjord’s face with confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just need to know I’m more than a weapon to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well </span>
  <em>
    <span>shit.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are,” the words were out before Caleb had to think about it. “Of course, Fjord, you aren’t a blunt object, I’d never treat-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because that’s what I feel like,” Fjord interrupted. “When you reduce this,” he gestured between them, “to a transaction, when you hold this,” he pressed their scarred palms together, “like an ace in your sleeve, I feel like we have been speaking different languages.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You aren’t a-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have a brilliant, tactical mind Caleb.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb tried to catch his breath, to argue, but Fjord just kept going. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I know that sometimes, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>will </span>
  </em>
  <span>be an ace in your sleeve. Sometimes I’ll be the beacon you pull out and somehow fix everything. I trusted you to do that. But right now it feels like I’m a- a- a pawn you are moving across the board, trying to, fuck, what’s the word, level up so it will be a more powerful pawn. In your arsenal.” Fjord was flushed, but his voice remained lowered. Caleb still felt the words land like daggers in his gut.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fjord…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to just be a weapon, Caleb.” Fjord’s shoulders slumped like the fight was going out of him. “Not anymore. Or maybe just, not forever. But not to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before Caleb could come up with a satisfying response, Fjord pushed past him. “Let’s just… let’s go to bed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he passed Caleb caught his arm. “Fjord, wait.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know- I knew the second I said- I’m sorry.” He pushed his hands over his face, trying to organize his thoughts more than the chanting </span>
  <em>
    <span>you fucked up again</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “Let’s start there. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok.” Fjord waited a moment, then jerked a thumb over his shoulder towards the inn. “You can think about what you want to say. What you want…” he pointed to himself and let his hand drop. “What our friendship means. But not right now, ok?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb felt those daggers in his gut twist. “Ja, ok.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They made it back to their room without running into anyone, or needing to keep up the act, which Caleb was extremely grateful for. Fjord pushed into their rooms and started depositing Caleb’s supplies on the desk. The paper bundle first, and then, hesitating, he set the new scroll on top. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb wanted to say something, but Fjord pulled out a book from his bag of holding and tossed it onto the bed. Without turning, he shucked his armor and shirt and made his way to the washroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alone with his thoughts, Caleb clenched his hands into fists. The new spell scroll sat innocently on the desk and he glared at it. As a distraction he went around and lit the candles in the room, making sure to leave one by Fjord’s side of the bed, before he sat down at the desk and pulled out his spellbook and journal. The scroll was still mocking him when Fjord re-emerged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still silent, he grabbed his book off the bed and slid under the covers. Caleb watched him flip the book open. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Subnautic Subcultures. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb’s fingers twitched so he pulled the scroll open and began transcribing it into his book. It was easy to fall into the rhythm of habit. Writing notes in the margin, copying the runes, sketching important bits before inking them. The sound of Fjord turning pages was just another soothing background noise. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still, it only took an hour to complete the work and then Caleb had to stare at the desk and decide what to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wanted to talk. Wanted to keep saying words until Fjord understood, but he figured it might help if </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> understood first. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wanting things was a weakness. He knew that. It had been drilled into his head for too long to forget. He rubbed a hand into his hair and used the motion to sneak a look at Fjord. Caleb didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want </span>
  </em>
  <span>things, he had goals.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ruin everything Trent had built.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bend reality to his will.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So some of his goals were more concrete than others- but they were still his goals. And he had succeeded one already. Veth needed him to get her body back, and Caleb had done it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What he wanted? Caleb watched Fjord raise an eyebrow at his book, the microexpressions flitting across his face as he read. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wanted to stay with the Nein. Obviously. He cared about them. He had gone and gotten invested, to the point where his scruples had to be set aside. And consequences had to be dealt with. They were on Trent’s radar. People in power knew about them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beyond that, Caleb didn’t really care. He turned back to his spellbook before Fjord could notice him watching. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t matter, really. Caleb leafed through his notes on dunemancy and thought about when they could return to the Dynasty. His story wouldn’t have a happy ending. That wasn’t in the stars for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still, he was circling. Wanting things, being unable to want them. Fjord deserved better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb’s stomach turned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord deserved better. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And that was that. Caleb would be Fjord’s friend, would help Fjord as much as he could. But when Fjord retired he would ride into the sunset with someone who deserved him. That wasn’t Caleb. If Caleb was even alive by then. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tapped his quill against the desk anxiously. “I care about you, Fjord.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The spine of a book protested. “Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Time to walk the tight rope. “Yes.” Caleb turned to face the bed. Fjord had set his book on the side table and was watching Caleb with tired eyes. “I care about you Fjord. A lot. More than I should.” Reign it in… “I want good things for you, I want you to be happy. And I’ll do what I can to make that happen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord waited.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m still… adjusting to friendship though.” Caleb spun his quill in his hands idly. “Some of it comes easily. Some of it is more difficult. Treating friendship as more than a transaction, trusting people to be there when I can’t force them.” He looked down. “I’m sorry. I know it sounds trite but it wasn’t you. It’s me. You are, objectively, the best of us. I’m sorry that I ever made you feel lesser. Like a blunt object.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think…” Fjord sighed and changed course. “I appreciate it, Caleb. I know you’re trying. I don’t want to put you on the spot. I’m asking a lot with just this, this whole plan, finding Sabien. But when you push about paying me back?” Fjord shook his head and stared into space. “I thought we were on the same page. I wish we were. I’ve spent so long feeling like I’m trying to catch up to you. I didn’t realize maybe you weren’t quite with me on this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb tilted his head, confused. “On what?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a grunt, Fjord pulled himself out of bed and circled it to the desk. Caleb tried not to panic. When he reached Caleb, Fjord held out his right hand. It was instinct for Caleb to offer his own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m your friend, Caleb.” He tugged, bringing Caleb to his feet. “I’m going to help you when I can, because I can. And I’ll trust you to let me know when I can help you. And nothing, no bullshit or politics or god, is going to change that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb’s heart pounded. It wasn’t fair. Fjord was shirtless and wearing sleep pants and was pressing their scars together and swearing himself to Caleb’s side. It wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>fair</span>
  </em>
  <span> that he was unknowingly pushing Caleb’s buttons. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does that sound good?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ja,” Caleb squeezed Fjord’s hand and tried to smile up at him. “Fjord, that sounds like everything I could ask for.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then it’s a deal.” Fjord gave Caleb a sheepish half-smile. “Now maybe we can get back to where we were before I threw a wrench in it. Come to bed?” He released Caleb’s hand and turned, going back to his side and easing into the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb nodded dumbly. Swallowed. “Ja, of course, let me just put this away. I’ll be…” Fjord stretched his arms over his head and Caleb trailed off, distracted by the way the candlelight played over Fjord’s triceps and shoulders, the soft hair across his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wanting things, people, was not allowed. Caleb reminded himself of that repeatedly as he carefully tucked away his things, slowly undressed, and slid into the bed next to Fjord.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That included wanting Fjord. This was one thing he could not afford to fuck up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No amount of compartmentalizing seemed to help the matter. Fjord took a while to fall asleep, shifting now and then late into the night. But Caleb only knew that because he himself couldn’t fall asleep either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t mean to make this worse.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a second Caleb wonders which one of them spoke, because he had been thinking the same thing. But Fjord shifted to face Caleb, so Caleb steeled himself and did the same.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was thinking the same thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t see Fjord very clearly, the single lit candle in the room offering the very least amount of light, but Fjord was breathing evenly, slowly. “Can we go back to yesterday? I’d rather focus more on who was watching us than…” he lifted a shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m working on it,” Caleb gave Fjord a half grin. “Time travel is notoriously complicated.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, maybe there’s an easier way.” His hand covered Caleb’s where it was curled into his pillow, and Caleb sighed. The warm touch made his chest loosen. “You trust me enough to sleep next to me, I’ll trust you enough to be there when I wake up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb turned his face into his pillow for a moment. “You really worry about that? That I’ll disappear in the night?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” No hesitation. “I don’t know why you stay, Caleb.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was a relief, at least. Maybe Caleb wasn’t as transparent as he had thought when Yasha pointed out his weakness. It took her a while to notice, anyway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re my family now, Fjord.” Caleb took a shaky breath. “You all are everything I have left. I can’t lose that. I can’t lose any of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord squeezed his hand and let go. Caleb tried to resist following it with his own and failed, curling his fingers into Fjord’s palm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It eased Fjord somehow. He smiled a bit and closed his eyes. Caleb watched as his body relaxed, released the last lines of tension from his shoulders and neck, and then he was sleeping minutes later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hand curled around Caleb’s. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb’s heart tightened painfully in his chest. This was blurring a line, he knew. There were no witnesses here in their room. This wasn’t a show or a bit. There was nobody to convince. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Except for Fjord. And Caleb. Fjord touched Caleb for his own comfort. Selfishly. And Caleb had reached back because he couldn’t resist the comfort, couldn’t bear to think Fjord worried about him leaving. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb rubbed his thumb over Fjord’s knuckle, slowly. Back and forth. Memorized the scars and callouses until he could see them in his mind, before he drifted off.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It really shouldn’t have been a surprise that, after the drama of the day before, Caleb woke up very warm with Fjord wrapped around him like octopus-Frumpkin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb sighed, squinting in the early morning light that cast the room in cool colors. Habit always made him wake at dawn whether or not he had been up half the night having a very private freak-out over his uncontrollably growing feelings. He cannot want things, he reminded himself as Fjord’s arm tightened over his stomach, fingers pressing into his ribs. He cannot want. Fjord rubbed his nose into Caleb’s shoulder and Caleb bit his lip. Fjord’s leg was still thankfully lax where it was tangled into Caleb’s.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He cannot want. To want is to fuck it all up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Caleb?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He turned, watched as Fjord blearily blinked himself awake. “I’m here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord’s pupils adjusted to the light, dilating and slowly focusing on Caleb, and Caleb was struck with a realization the second the look of relief washed over Fjord’s face. He had abandonment issues, Caleb identified. Fjord had abandonment issues. Of </span>
  <em>
    <span>course</span>
  </em>
  <span> he did. An orphan. His father figure disappeared and hasn’t looked for him. His brother tried to kill him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb felt like an idiot for not seeing it sooner. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good,” Fjord grunted, and buried his face back into Caleb’s shoulder. “Go back to sleep. It’s too early.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb hummed in agreement, but he knew he was too awake already to get any more sleep. For Fjord’s sake, he let his free hand rest on Fjord’s wrist over his stomach and rubbed a thumb soothingly over the skin there. To help Fjord go back to sleep. Assure him Caleb was staying there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Absolutely no selfish motives on Caleb’s part, he told himself when Fjord sighed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And really, Caleb’s mind started spinning further awake. He could be more affectionate. Physically affectionate, even. If it meant putting Fjord’s mind at ease. That was something he could do, he knew. He just had to step back from what </span>
  <em>
    <span>he </span>
  </em>
  <span>wanted, and give Fjord what Fjord </span>
  <em>
    <span>needed.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Then it wasn’t lecherous, right?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Of course not. He was comforting his very good friend. His very good half-orc friend who likely had dormant pack-like affection needs. His were a tactile people. It would be, actually, totally cruel for Caleb to </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>be more affectionate toward his friend. It was, really, you know, the only responsible thing to do. Especially since it would help ingratiate them into the ploy. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yes, Caleb decided. He would do the right thing and return as much affection as Fjord gave him, as Fjord asked for. Obviously. He was, after all, Fjord’s friend. Friends take care of each other.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nothing suspicious or self-serving about it </span>
  <em>
    <span>at all.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb marked the passage of time as he preened under his own genius. He had figured out how to be a better friend to Fjord, he earned the right to bask a little. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>An hour and a half later Fjord finally moved again, inhaling sharply and lifting his head to look sleepily down at Caleb. Who smiled at Fjord. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Morning.” Fjord rumbled. Caleb let the deep vibration of his voice wash over him and soaked it in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good morning, Fjord.” He absently reached up to smooth some of Fjord’s hair back down. “You look a mess.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord growled, still groggy. “We can’t all look like princesses when we wake up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That got a chuckle out of Caleb, and Fjord narrowed his eyes at him. “What? Nobody has ever referred to me as a princess before.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord swallowed hard, and his eyes softened. “You seem… in a better mood.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I am,” Caleb stretched with a groan and Fjord pulled his arms away, scooting back to his side of the bed. “Got some good sleep, that helped.” He swung his legs off the bed and stood, pausing to stretch once more. He wasn’t a young man anymore, his joints had a tendency to protest after being motionless for so long. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m glad.” Fjord sounded hesitant. “Was there anything you needed to get done today?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb paused by the washroom door. “Just buy you a wedding ring.” He turned and smirked at Fjord, wiggling his eyebrows. “Nothing too crazy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He nearly missed Fjord’s mouth drop, flush building in his cheeks, before Caleb closed himself in the washroom smugly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bizla wasn’t working the tavern, but they made small talk with the halfling who was working instead and the tension between them slowly dissipated. The halfling, Grifo, gave them directions to a jeweler, so they set off in that direction.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Any preferences?” Caleb asked as they neared the shop. He idly squeezed Fjord’s hand in his once, twice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh, not really,” Fjord frowned. “It just has to be a metal band, right? Nothing flashy?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb imagined two waves, curling around a blue gem. Or perhaps something inside the band, so when it pressed into Fjord’s skin it left a slight mark. “Probably better to go simple,” he said instead. “We are commoners now.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wondered, just for a moment as Fjord pushed open the door for him, how Fjord would design his own ring. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A dwarf was working at a bench, near the back, magnifying glass propped in front of them as they made precise movements. “Just a minute,” they called, so Caleb turned and looked over the items in the display case. Nothing appeared magical, and it was likely anything of high enough quality to enchant would be kept in the back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’d forgotten Fjord was holding his hand until he pulled it away to rest on the back of Caleb’s neck. The warmth seeped in, even though the day was already warming up, and Caleb looked up at Fjord.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gold for you,” Fjord said, voice low, “Maybe silver for me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It irked Caleb, and he took a second to parse why. Silver, the lesser currency. It made sense that Fjord would prefer silver coloring, but he wouldn’t stand for Fjord to keep assuming he wasn’t Caleb’s equal.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Or something,” he replied, and the dwarf set down their tools and came to the counter. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m Arlalv,” the dwarf set his hands on the counter and gave them both a stern once-over. “What’re you here for?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wedding bands,” Caleb answered before Fjord could. “A gold one for me, and a platinum one for my husband.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The dwarf’s eyebrows shot up. “Really?” He looked them over again. “Alright. Ten gold for yours, ten platinum for his.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb stifled his grimace and dug into his pouch, but Fjord put his free hand on Caleb’s. “Hang on,” he started to argue. So Caleb steeled himself and pressed a kiss to Fjord’s mouth. It was right there, and he was trying to argue, and Caleb wanted to have this his way. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord jerked, surprised, so Caleb pushed insistently before pulling back. “Sorry dear,” he said, dropping the coins onto the counter. “But I know what I want, and I want you in a platinum ring.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The dwarf scooped up the coins without a word and brought out a measuring string. Caleb grinned as he held out his hand for measurement, and Fjord frowned as he did the same. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“These’ll be done in an hour or so,” Arlalv grunted, already moving to the back of the shop. “Pick 'em up before the end of the day.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Caleb said, and grabbed Fjord’s hand to steer him out of the shop. “I like Arlalv. Very straightforward.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Caleb,” Fjord pulled Caleb to a stop on the street, people bustling past them. “That was too much. We were just talking about-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know,” Caleb bit his lip. “But I want you to have something nice. I’m not paying you back- I want you to have nice things, and I’m willing to pay to get them for you. Caleb Felsen wouldn’t stand for anything but the best for Fjord Felsen, you know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord gave him a look that said ‘is </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> how it’s going to be?’ and pushed some of Caleb’s hair behind his ear. “Fine.” He raised an eyebrow. “We can always get them enchanted, after this is over.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Somehow, Caleb hadn’t thought of that. He pressed another quick kiss to Fjord’s lips before he could think about it, and Fjord’s startled expression slipped into a smile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright, now that that’s taken care of,” Caleb wove his fingers into Fjord’s and led the way to the orphanage, “Let’s go take care of some kids.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord’s fingers twitched in his before they gripped tighter. Caleb missed the way Fjord’s pupils dilated.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Matron Shel was in the front room when they arrived, her hair up in a complicated braid and flour dusting her apron. Caleb found the contrast between her soft clothes and her obviously very athletic form strangely charming. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, you two again,” she put her quill down and sighed through her nose. “You find a place to buy yet?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not yet,” Fjord answered. “But then, we’ve only been in town for two days, you know, still getting the lay of the land.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So you spend your time here instead of getting ready?” She tilted her head. “Even if I was going to send you off with one of mine, I wouldn’t do it till they had a home to go to. Might as well head back out. I heard there’s a few places opened in the north ward. Should check those out.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb filed that away for later. “Actually,” he rubbed Fjord’s upper arm. “I was going to offer my husband to help out around here. We saw you were building a shed out back and I figured you could use the extra set of hands.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shel stiffened, face clouding over, and Fjord stepped forward. “He means- sorry, he doesn’t mean he owns me, I swear. He convinced me to come help because otherwise I’d be at his elbow all day. I want to help out, and Caleb can help some other way.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oh. Caleb kicked himself internally. He should be more careful how he speaks. Shel clearly didn’t like Empire humans, and Caleb wasn’t giving her much reason to like him. “I can help with lesson plans,” he added.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well,” Shel glowered at Caleb for a second. “I would appreciate the help with the shed. You can go though.” She pointed at the door. “I’m not convinced you aren’t an asshole yet.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord looked to Caleb. They wanted to avoid splitting up, in case Sabien was watching them and looking for an opening. But Shel clearly wasn’t going to give up anything useful while Caleb was around. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before Fjord could protest, for the second time that day, Caleb stepped forward and pressed a kiss to his mouth to keep him quiet. “Alright then,” he cupped Fjord’s cheek and gave it a gentle pat. “I’ll be down the street, there was a clothier and we could use some replacements for what was ruined during the trip. Lost a few buttons along the way.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He hoped Fjord understood what he was saying- buttons usually referred to Veth, especially to Fjord. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ll be back for lunch though?” Fjord asked, and circled Caleb’s wrist, holding him there. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course,” Caleb smiled again, adding in a wink for good measure. “I can’t stay away from you </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>long.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even as Caleb tried to pull away, Fjord slipped his arm around Caleb’s waist and pulled him fully against his front. Fjord was warm and solid, and Caleb braced his hands on Fjord’s chest in surprise. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then Fjord was kissing him, more than the gentle pecks Caleb had been giving him, breathing hard as he gently licked over the seam of Caleb’s lips and Caleb felt like the floor was dropping out from under him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As soon as Caleb started to react though, Fjord released him. “Okay,” he said, and cleared his throat. “I’ll uh, see you at lunch then.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Caleb took a step back and looked over Fjord. “Noon sharp. I’ll be back.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord nodded, once, and turned to Shel, so Caleb spun and darted out the door. If it wasn’t for the guard posted by the entry way, he would have likely slid down the wall, so instead he took off briskly down the street until he reached the clothier and slid down </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>wall.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It only took a few attempts to land a message spell on Veth, pointing in different directions till he caught her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>There’s a clothier down the street from the orphanage, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he told her. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Care to gather a few more buttons with me? You can reply to this message.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Sure!</span>
  </em>
  <span> Veth replied quickly. </span>
  <em>
    <span>We’ll head that way, Jester was just picking over a weapon shop's stuff on the next street. Need anything?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb gave it a moment’s thought. He had forgotten that Jester would be with her. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m all good, Fjord bought me a new spell yesterday. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Shit. He hadn’t meant to say that. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Uh, I guess you can reply to this message.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Good for him, taking care of you.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb twiddled his thumbs for 23 minutes, watching everyone who walked past him and anyone who glanced his way. He still hadn’t spotted that man again though when Jester plopped down next to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why are we sitting on the ground outside a clothing shop?” she asked by way of greeting, and then Veth appeared on his other side and flipped a throwing star in the air. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just people watching,” Calep replied, and Jester nodded while tapping her nose.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gotcha. Anything interesting?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb shrugged. Most of the populace seemed like manual workers. “Nothing yet.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Where’s Fjord?” Veth looked around, peeking into the shop windows. “I thought you two were supposed to stick together?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jester pat Caleb’s knee. “Are things still rough?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” Caleb waved a hand. “We talked and- I cleared things up. Just a misunderstanding. He’s down at the orphanage endearing himself to Shel. She uh…” Caleb rubbed his neck, where Fjord had taken to placing his hand. “She doesn’t like me very much.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Veth looked riled, but Jester looked confused. “That’s weird,” she said. “Usually people take to you pretty quickly.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb shrugged again. “I guess. But she seems to have a thing against Empire humans. She really likes Fjord. But that’s hardly surprising.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She likes Fjord better than you?” Veth rolled her eyes. “She knows you two are married, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think she doubts that, a bit.” Caleb pushed himself to his feet. “We bought some wedding rings this morning though, hopefully that helps. I’m not doing a great job as Fjord’s husband either.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He helped Jester to her feet and she frowned. “That’s odd. You just have to be yourselves, don’t you? Except with more touching.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s obviously hard to pretend you like someone more than you do,” Veth answered before Caleb could, and Caleb resisted the urge to hide behind his hands. Veth was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>as subtle with words as she was visually. “Caleb has to pretend to not only be in love with Fjord, but also that they’ve been together for a while. And I mean,” Veth chuckled anxiously, “It’s really hard to pretend you like someone. Right? Right? Because Caleb doesn’t like Fjord- that would be crazy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb glared at Veth. “Ja, don’t speak so loudly Veth, that’s my husband you are referring to.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jester’s gaze flipped between them for a moment. “Uh, Caleb’s a good actor anyway. And Fjord… I’m sure it’s fine, Veth.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yep!” Veth turned and headed into the clothing store. “What was that you said about buttons, Caleb? Let’s go- let’s go get some of those. Right now. Shall we?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb had just finished listing off Fjord’s measurements (he had all of the Mighty Nein’s measurements stored in his melon, it wasn’t Fjord specifically) when Veth pushed into his side and whispered, “Maybe you should shave.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why’s that,” Caleb flipped through his journal idly, only half paying attention to her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So Fjord won’t mind kissing you so much.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His journal bobbled through his hands, but Veth caught it before it hit the floor. Caleb turned to check where Jester was, searching through the available fabric and flicking her tail happily. “We don’t kiss that much, Veth, it’s not- I already asked, anyway.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah but he should kiss you </span>
  <em>
    <span>more</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “And as far as we can tell, he’s only been into women. Women with </span>
  <em>
    <span>smooth faces</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb’s chest tightened. “Veth, shaving my face isn’t going to convince a straight man to like me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe not,” Veth put his journal back in his hands. “But it might help a bi man figure out he likes you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Snapping his book closed, Caleb pressed his lips tightly together. “Drop it,” he hissed. “Fjord doesn’t like me that way, and I’m not doing this to… to perv on him, or persuade him. I asked if he would prefer I shaved, and he said he thought I looked better with scruff. That’s the end of the matter.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Veth clicked her tongue. “He said he liked you with scruff, did he?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Because of course she latched onto that. “I mean it Veth. Drop it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She waited, peering at his face. Seconds ticked by.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“... he said when I was clean shaven I look like a stuffy academic.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She bounced once, excited. “I think everyone agrees that rugged Caleb has a sort of gruff charm. But aren’t you </span>
  <em>
    <span>supposed</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be a stuffy academic right now? A teacher?” She pressed a finger to her cheek in exaggerated thought. “It would make more sense for you to shave to look the part, yet for some reason he said he prefers your scruffy unkempt beard?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A cold sweat broke over Caleb. Veth needed to stop making sense, or she was going to shift the parameters of what was going on and Caleb had </span>
  <em>
    <span>just </span>
  </em>
  <span>convinced himself it was alright the way it was. “Enough, Veth. Enough. It isn’t the time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something on his face made her back down, nodding. “Fair enough. When are your rings going to be done?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb was glad he had a productive morning. It kept him from thinking too much about how Fjord was doing without him. Unfortunately Fjord hadn’t given him the bag of holding, so he had to carry their new clothes in his arms back to the orphanage. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Which also meant he couldn’t admire his new wedding ring.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The guard in front of the orphanage got the door for him, and Caleb muttered his thanks. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This time the smaller child was sitting in the entry way, face screwed up in concentration as they worked with charcoal. Caleb set his purchases down by the door and moved closer to see what they were doing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It looked like letters practice. The child, maybe a half elf, glanced up when he approached and took a seat next to them on the bench. “Hallo,” Caleb smiled down at them. “How goes your studies today?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A tail thwapped the side of his leg at that, and he realized the dog was sleeping under the bench. The child blinked up at Caleb. “I don’t know what a city is,” they whispered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hmmm,” Caleb picked up a bit of charcoal and scooted a spare piece of rough paper over. With a few quick strokes, he sketched out the view of Port Zoon from the south. “Well, that’s a fair question. How can one know what a forest is if you have never seen anything else?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The child watched Caleb work, eyes growing wide as the picture came together. Caleb was no artist, not like Jester, but he had the hand coordination from years of writing and the memory to make practical work. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Underneath the drawing, Caleb carefully blocked out the word CITY. Finished, he slid the paper over to the child. “I’m Caleb,” he said, and held out his hand. “Caleb Felsen.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I saw you here yesterday,” the child pushed their charcoal into Caleb’s hand. “My name’s Imase.” They grabbed the drawing and looked it over again. “This is a city?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” Caleb leaned over to see what the child was working on. “You can use it in a sentence like: I live in the city Port Zoon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So Zoon is a city.” The child set down the drawing and took their charcoal back from Caleb. Their letters were a little wobbly, but their concentration didn’t waver as they wrote out the sentence Caleb gave them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Here,” Caleb let his hands rest over the child’s, adjusting the way their little fingers curled around the writing utensil. “This won’t make your hand hurt so quick. And you can make straight lines easier, like this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He helped the child draw out a big Z, then two lopsided Os, and finally an N. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Imase,” Shel called from the doorway. Caleb looked up, startled, to see Shel and Fjord standing there. “That’s enough lettering for today, you can play outside with Yuval until lunch is ready.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes! Thanks Mister Caleb!” The kid hopped off the bench and took off past Shel, the dog on their heels.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb hardly noticed. Fjord was looking at him strangely, eyes focused and nostrils flared. Caleb tried not to pay attention to the fact that Fjord was shirtless and sweaty, instead trying to figure out why Fjord was looking at him like he was a roast dinner.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Probably starving for lunch, after helping Shel.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks again for the help Fjord,” Shel came over to the table and started gathering materials. “I appreciate it. It’s hard wrangling everyone, let alone putting up walls by myself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m happy to help.” Fjord dragged his eyes away from Caleb and cracked his neck. “I can come by again tomorrow, we should be able to finish most of it then.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shel nodded. “And you?” she asked Caleb. “You going to come help Imase with her letters again?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” Fjord answered for him immediately, and Caleb bit his lip. “I mean. I like having him close by. And he’s a great teacher.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Abandonment issues, Caleb reminded himself. Strange that they were flaring up so much. The orphanage was probably bringing up latent feelings and memories.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good.” Shel waved a hand. “I have to get lunch going. I’ll see you tomorrow.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb stood, brushing the charcoal off on his pants, and picked up his parcels. Fjord slipped his shirt back on and met him at the door.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Outside, Caleb waited until they were a little ways from the guard before he tilted his head at Fjord. “DId you have a good morning with Shel? I didn’t expect her to invite me back tomorrow.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We talked a lot. I think I’ve at least mostly convinced her you mean well. And,” Fjord touched Caleb’s lower back, “seeing you with Imase probably helped quite a bit.” His voice pitched lower when he mentioned that last part. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good.” Caleb nodded. “Maybe I’ll be able to get a look at what’s going on there. I picked up some clothes,” he hefted the purchases, “with Veth and Jester’s help. Something to make us fit in a bit. Though you should probably bathe before putting them on.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord pulled away slightly. “Sorry, I’m probably getting ripe aren’t I.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb didn’t mention that he didn’t mind. They turned the corner to the street their inn was on, and Caleb remembered the rings. Sudden nerves kept his mouth closed though.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At the steps of the inn Fjord pulled Caleb to a stop. He turned, confused. Fjord’s eyes were a little wide. “What’s wrong?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh,” Fjord glanced back the way they came. “I thought I saw someone watching us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb waited a beat, steadying his breathing. “Odd,” he adjusted his hold on his things, looking up through his hair to scan the street. There weren’t many people around, a small family walking away and a few pairs idling. “I didn’t notice anything.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Fjord’s hand tugged his elbow again, so Caleb looked back at him. “Could be nothing, but it could be something, you know?” He looked unsure of himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This was an opportunity, Caleb realized. He could assure Fjord that everything was fine. Or… he could use the excuse for more affection. Fjord did look uneasy. He could use soothing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Making the decision, Caleb flipped open the bag of holding and tucked the new clothes away. “Well,” he fastened it closed again and looked up at Fjord. “At least we have already made plans for what to do in this situation.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord still looked torn when Caleb leaned into him, wrapping his arms around Fjord’s neck. “I don’t want to push you,” he said, but his hands were already grabbing Caleb’s hips and pulling him firmly against Fjord. “We can just go inside I guess.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was warm, and he smelled musky from his morning work. Caleb pulled his arms tighter. “We already agreed this was a good way to shake them though?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ok, but,” Fjord was staring at Caleb’s mouth. “We don’t always have to do this, I just want you to know.” One had spread over Caleb’s lower back, pushing his shirt up. “So you don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with.” He lowered his face to Caleb’s, hot breath washing over his lips. “You can back out any time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then he was kissing Caleb again. Soft, gentle presses of his lips against Caleb’s. Caleb inhaled sharply, confused by the contrast between Fjord’s words and his actions. The sound made Fjord pull back, eyes searching Caleb’s, before he kissed more firmly, lips trembling. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When his tongue ran across Caleb’s mouth, slick and heady, Caleb immediately opened up for it. Fjord made a choked noise and suddenly everything was escalating a little quickly. Fjord was breathing hard, the hand on his lower back digging into his bare skin and his other coming up to tangle in Caleb’s hair, pushing him more insistently against Fjord. Caleb gasped for air and pulled Fjord against him harder. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The movement unbalanced them and they stumbled into the archway, leaning against the frame as Fjord absolutely wrecked Caleb’s mouth and Caleb tried his best to hold on for the ride. He could feel Fjord’s pulse in his neck where Caleb's arm pressed against it, rabbiting faster and faster and Fjord started nipping at Caleb’s lips, dragging his tongue over Caleb’s, sucked Caleb’s lower lip for one hot second. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A child’s laughter startled them apart. Caleb looked around and saw the family at the far end of the street, the child playing with some toy. He kept a hand on Fjord’s neck and turned back only to see Fjord shake his head and pull away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry,” Fjord muttered. Caleb licked his lips, felt the soreness where Fjord’s teeth had gently bit him. Fjord’s eyes locked onto the movement before he looked down and away. “Sorry, that might have been too far.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb’s brain was a fuzzy wash of endorphins. He scratched his nails against the shorn nape of Fjord’s neck. “It’s alright,” he said, and swallowed. “We’re married, remember? Sometimes we’re going to be affectionate in public.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right,” Fjord looked as dazed as Caleb felt. “Of course. That makes sense.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They stayed in each other's space for a minute, Caleb trying to get his brain to wake up and Fjord looking more and more closed off. With a sigh, Caleb let him go completely. “Let’s get some food?”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Note that I upped the rating. And added some tags. So. Yeh. Heads up.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Fjord eased up again as they ate, and by the time they got back to their room he seemed nearly back to normal. Caleb could tell he was still tense about something, but he didn’t push the matter </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Before I forget,” he reached into his own pack and pulled out a small, simple wooden box. “Here, I also picked this up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is it the…” Fjord trailed off, fingers trembling as he took the box and opened it. Inside, his ring was nestled on top of a bit of velvet. The wrappings betrayed the absolute luster of it. “Caleb…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Now it’s official.” Caleb slid his hand onto the back of Fjord’s neck, mimicking what Fjord had been doing to him. “I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you.” He held up his left hand and Fjord eyed the glint of gold there before looking down at his own ring. When it looked like he wasn’t going to put it on, Caleb gently picked it up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord barely moved his left hand toward Caleb. Holding his breath, Caleb slid the ring onto Fjord’s finger and rested his hand over the top so they could see both bands. Instinctively, he squeezed the back of Fjord’s neck, a quick firm grip. To reassure him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For some reason that made Fjord give a whole body shudder. “Fuck,” he muttered, and looked at Caleb. He was standing closer than he normally would in private, and that startled Caleb because Fjord looked like he was going to kiss him again. But they were in their rooms, and the windows were closed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb must have made a face because Fjord suddenly spun and made his way into the washroom. “Sorry, I should clean up, thanks for picking the rings up and… everything.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure,” Caleb let his hand drop. “I’m going to read on the balcony I think.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord gave him a thumbs up before the bathroom door closed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Interlude: Relieve the Pressure</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord pressed the washroom door closed behind himself and finally, finally, let out a long breath he had been holding. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was a fair sight better bathroom than pretty much any place they had crashed at before- hell, the fact that their room had its own bathroom ranked it in the number two slot, right after the Lavish Chateau. It wasn’t extravagant, just a washbasin, a pump to draw water, a low stove to heat the bath, and the bathtub itself. There was a small window high on the wall, a mirror above the washbasin, a small cabinet for storing towels and other items, and a privy tucked in a corner. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>private. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Fjord let his head rest against the door and closed his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Unbidden, the sight of Caleb smiling softly down at Imase resurfaced. Warmth pooled low in Fjord’s stomach. He licked his lips and remembered the feeling of Caleb pressing against him, dragging him down by the neck to kiss him, his body moving where Fjord directed and as Fjord leaned back Caleb braced against him, the line of his body putting a bit of weight on Fjord, enough that he-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pushed down on his dick through his pants and gasped. Yeah, no, this whole situation was fast spiraling out of hand. With a grimace he moved to the stove and started it before putting a hand on the water pump. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Normally he had better control. Normally he didn’t think about sex hardly ever. Didn’t have to deal with arousal. Sure it was nice to have some private time here and there. But it’d been ages since he was even attracted enough to someone that it got out of control. Since he was a teenager, really. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now though? Now he knew what Caleb tasted like, the feeling of his tongue. He remembered the moment Caleb gripped the back of his neck and his dick jerked. His nights were spent in the same bed as Caleb, inches away from his warm skin. He woke up sprawled over the top of Caleb and Caleb had smiled, a rare enough sight, and put his fingers in Fjord’s hair. And Fjord could smell Caleb on himslef all morning.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was all getting to be a bit much. Fjord wasn’t blind. He knew Caleb was appealing. He’d seen Caleb naked. Oh, shit. He’d seen Caleb </span>
  <em>
    <span>naked.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord panted and leaned more heavily on the pump. Caleb, standing waist deep in the ocean, naked under the water, drops running in little lines down his body in the sun. His pale skin marked with freckles and scars alike, his slender body seeming so delicate next to Fjord. Fjord wanted to taste every mark on him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He whined, quietly, and resigned himself to a quick jerk off. There was no way he could sleep next to Caleb tonight without relieving some of the pressure.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a glance at the door- Caleb said he would be reading on the balcony, but he still had to be quiet- Fjord started filling the tub. He cast around for a minute, pants still tight, looking for something to ease the way, and came up with a bar of soap. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck me,” Fjord grumbled, and set the soap next to the bathtub. It would do, but he spent a moments thought on the oil he knew Caleb carried. If only he could convince Caleb to use it for something inappropriate. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb’s dick, hard and flushed red, glistening and bobbing as he jerked it with one of those hands, fuck, Caleb’s hands were so good? Strong and sure and clever, especially when they tangled with Fjords. Fjord’s fingers alongside Caleb’s as they worked his dick, clear fluid dribbling out because Caleb wanted it, wanted it so bad, wanted Fjord-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The bath was filling and the fire was going and Fjord gave up and tore his shirt off, shoved his pants to his knees and gripped himself in hand. Shit, </span>
  <em>
    <span>shit,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he was so hungry for it this wouldn’t take long. Small blessings. He keened a little at the relief his hand brought, squeezing his dick before tugging his balls lightly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He waddled to the bath again and kicked his pants off, one hand absently rubbing his dick. The water was still cold, but Fjord was running out of patience. He dipped the soap in and lathered it up before spreading the bubbles onto his cock.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Breath punched out of him. The slide was everything he needed. He braced his free hand against the tub and went to work stripping his dick, fast and efficient. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was so good. He licked his lips and felt a whine trying to get out of the back of his throat. His eyes shuttered closed as he got into the rhythm, squeezing slightly harder on the upstroke, his hips jerking, trying to pump into his hand better. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb, in the ocean, seafoam clinging to his body. Leaned up, maybe against the beach? Yeah, the wave recedes and Caleb’s naked, his dick hard and curved towards his belly, auburn hair trailing up his chest, wetted down and displaying his cock. Fjord hummed as he imagined Caleb running his beautiful hands over his body, cupping his balls, tossing his head back. He squirms in the sand and another wave gently rolls over him, deposits more seafoam and the bubbles fizz away on Caleb’s trembling thighs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He opens his eyes to stare at Fjord, look right at him, blue eyes blown so wide and dark that he looks drunk. “Fjord,” he begs, voice wrecked and rough the way it was this morning. “Please…” He wants Fjord, rubs his thumb over the head of his dick and it comes away slick with precum. Yeah, Fjord panted and rubbed the head of his own cock before tugging his balls again. Caleb’s so wet, his cock is dripping because he wants Fjord.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The water had stopped and the bath wasn’t really full, but Fjord closed the fire grate with his un-soaped hand and scrambled into the tub. It was cooler than he would prefer, but he ignored it and leaned back, canting his hips up a bit so he could keep his dick out of the water. Lathered up more soap. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord closed his eyes again. Right, Caleb was laying back, on the beach- but maybe? Fjord gave himself a few tugs and bit his lip. Maybe Fjord would come out of the bathroom and Caleb would be still trying to get off, out there on the balcony. His stomach swooped, what if that’s what Caleb was doing right now? His cock bobbed. What if Caleb was as worked up as Fjord was, thinking about Fjord? What if Caleb was trying to stay quiet while he frantically got himself off outside?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The idea was tantalizing. Fjord huffed a breath and felt tingles along the edges of his body. Caleb, leaned back in a chair, just his cock out, so hard and constantly dripping as he works it, biting his lip and Fjord startles him when he finds him. Caleb, trying to hide it, but Fjord pushes him back against the chair and knocks Caleb’s hands away. Caleb whimpering- Fjord has to inhale sharply at his imagination- and clinging to Fjord, nails biting into the skin as he holds on. Fjord scoops up some of the slick running down Caleb’s dick and pushes deeper into his pants, finds the tight ring further in and Caleb slams his head back. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oh, yes. Fjord tightened his fingers into a too small circle and pushed his dick futilly at it. Caleb’s pants around his thighs, trapping his legs as Fjord pushes against his slick ass, catching on his rim and Caleb starts begging, words falling out of his mouth like nonsense. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please, Fjord, have me, please help, I need you, oh I need you Fjord, fill me up,” and Caleb pushes back. The head of Fjord’s cock managed to squeeze into the circle of his fingers and Fjord had to choke on the moan that almost escaped. He grabs Caleb’s waist and moves him easily, drags him down onto his dick like it's nothing, the way smooth and slick and so hot.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord mimicked his fantasy by squeezing his hands onto his dick slowly, eyes screwed shut as he imagined sinking into Caleb. Caleb’s eyes crossing in pleasure, going silent for a moment until Fjord bottoms out, hips flush, his cock pulsing threateningly against Caleb’s prostate and Caleb’s mouth drops open. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Breed me, Fjord, fuck, fill me up, please,” he babbles on and Fjord twitches. His dick jerked hard, practically coming with the strength of it and his whole body had to shudder for a second. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You want that?” Fjord growled, and his voice was fucked out, coming from the bottom of his chest and an octave lower than normal. He could feel the threat of his knot under his hands and rocked into it. “You want me to knot you? Lock you down and fill you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb continues to moan nonsense, about Fjord, Fjord filling him up and marking him and breeding him and knotting him. The water sloshed as Fjord’s hips pumped into the tight hold of his hands, and maybe it was better that the tub wasn’t full. Caleb tosses his head and clenches down on Fjord, begging for Fjord to pound into him, to fill him with his seed, and fuck if Fjord wasn’t interested in holding out any more. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pumped his dick carefully, it takes both hands and he’s the opposite of small, but the image of Caleb needing him so badly is enough that it’s over quick. Fjord went mute for a second, his ears roared as he clutched his cock with hands that squeezed frantically until he crests and nearly blacks out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At that point he couldn’t keep track, but he hoped he didn’t make much noise. His dick pulsed, emptied itself with unprecedented vigor, splashing his seed into the water and his chest. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s only when he started to sag that he thought to check his knot, carefully releasing the base of his still twitching cock. It was partially swollen, enough that it ached, but not painful. With a sigh, Fjord pushed his seed away from himself in the cool water and slid down further in the tub.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The tension that had been simmering under his skin since he saw Caleb with a child? It was eased. Now he felt… hollow. Which was likely in part due to his lack of knotting, and he scowled down at his dick floating in the tub. But also… </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb didn’t want him, he reminded himself. Caleb wanted power, wanted to dismantle the Academy. He didn’t want to be Fjord’s mate.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This was all just a shoddily thrown together ruse. An excuse for Fjord to be greedy while trying to track down Sabien. It was shameful, he knew that. But as long as Caleb kept touching him? Well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was worth it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb didn’t actually have a new book to read, so instead he pulled out his spellbook and reviewed his dunemancy notes. He had an idea of what he wanted to ask Essek next, what direction he wanted to take their lessons, but it would need time and he wasn’t sure when they might have the opportunity.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>About an hour after sitting down Caleb realised Fjord had been in the bathroom a while and immediately blushed. Fjord was a grown man, he reminded himself. Sometimes he would have… needs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So Caleb doubled down on his notes and ended up almost missing it when Fjord emerged finally. Wearing nothing but a towel around his waist, hair slicked back with water, holding his clothes in one hand. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb watched him move through the sheer curtains beyond the open balcony door. Fjord tossed him a glance but looked away instantly, so Caleb had the opportunity to observe as Fjord looked through the clothes Caleb picked up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steeling himself, Caleb closed his spellbook and tucked it away. When he closed the balcony door Fjord turned to him, startled. “I thought you might like having a few more shirts, another pair of pants.” Caleb said and gestured to the clothes. “Especially if you’re going to be helping build a shed.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I appreciate it.” Fjord moved with less tension, Caleb noted. Which made sense. “Did you get anything nice for yourself?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb shrugged. “Nothing too fancy, nothing was custom made.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord pulled on a shirt and picked up his pants, so Caleb turned to give him privacy. “Maybe we can find somewhere halfway nice to have dinner later,” Fjord said behind him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That sounds nice,” Caleb tapped his fingers together. “We can try to find something in the north ward, where Shel said there were some houses for sale.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Perfect.” Fjord touched his elbow and Caleb turned to grab the nicer shirt that Jester convinced him to get. It was a deep sapphire color. Caleb had snorted when she insisted it would look good on him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pulled his current shirt off, tossing it aside before shaking out the new one. “Any idea what we could do for the rest of the day?” He glanced over at Fjord and paused.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord leaned against the desk, eying Caleb’s waist. Turning back to the bed, Caleb pulled his shirt on, heart suddenly pounding. Why did it feel like every time he let his guard down, the air between them turned to molassas? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Guess we can explore the north ward until dinner,” Fjord finally offered. “Or we could walk along the beach?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The beach sounds nice,” Caleb pulled his holsters on and covered himself with his jacket before turning back to Fjord. “I’ve missed the ocean, I think.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord nodded, pushing off the desk to head to the door. “Nice shirt,” he added, and pressed a hand to the small of Caleb’s back. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait wait wait,” Caleb held up his hands. “How do you catch a fish </span>
  <em>
    <span>twice?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They’d meandered through the east ward and along the docks until they turned into shoreline, the water too shallow to reasonably be used by ships. Several fishing boats bobbed along the deeper waters. Their footsteps traced back down the beach a ways before getting washed away by the tide. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now they were walking slower, drawing out the day. Fjord shrugged, a flush creeping over his cheeks. “Listen, some people are so headstrong they can’t hear advice when it’s offered. This guy was one of those.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That doesn’t answer my question,” Caleb poked Fjord’s arm, and he laughed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine, fine. Like I said, we were out fishing deep sea fish, halibut.” Fjord held his arms out. “Usually we get ones about this size, but they can be, hell, as tall as me?” His hands dropped and he let one rest around Caleb’s waist. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb leaned closer to accommodate. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This man was new to the crew, new to fishing. We take him out and damn if he doesn’t land one of those bigger ones. Enough food to feed a family for a long time, cut and prepared right.” Fjord smirked. “He gets it to the surface and I’m there with the hammer, ready to bop it to sleep. Everything goes smooth. Land it, store it, continue fishing for the day.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So he didn’t catch it twice?” Caleb asked, confused. “Or did you realize later that you recognized this fish- you’d seen her in a bar years before.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord tugged on Caleb’s hip to quiet him. “I’m not finished!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb huffed. “You don’t have to play up the stereotype of fishing stories you know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Anyway</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Fjord gave Caleb a faux stern look but ruined it with a wink. “We got back to the docks and this is where he had wax in his ears. He’s so eager to get his fish and show it off, he helps out unloading the fish. You gotta hook them with this butchers hook through the gill, haul them over the side of the boat, and onto the dock where we have a barrel waiting.” Fjord pulled away from Caleb to show him what he meant. Caleb paused in walking to watch him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They’re that heavy?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Big fish usually are.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They turned and resumed their slow pace, and Fjord’s hand found its way to Caleb’s hip again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“As soon as he starts, Captain Burnette explains what happened the last time someone got over eager hauling fish. Explained, very carefully and explicitly, how when you swing too hard, the fish’s weight can make it pop right off the hook.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh dear,” Caleb started grinning. “Don’t tell me…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So this guy, I think his name was Will or something, he’s nodding like he’s listening but we all know he’s not. He’s got eyes on his big pretty fish. He hooks it, swings it, and…” Fjord held out his hand to Caleb.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It comes off the hook.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Got it in one!” Fjord leaned over and pecked Caleb on the lips, smiling. “Damn thing is completely vertical, and these fish are bottom feeders- flat as a sheet of your spell parchment. There’s only a half foot between the boat and the dock and fwip!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Slides down into the water like an envelope into a letterbox. Gone, just like that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb held up a finger. “Except! You said it was caught twice! And I’m starting to see where this goes!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They both started laughing. “You’re too smart for my stories, Caleb,” Fjord shook his head. “Always guessing what the ending is.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe,” Caleb tilted his head and considered the beach before them. “But I’d still like to hear you tell me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hmm,” Fjord bit his lip. “Alright. This fellow was lucky, at least. The top of these fish is camouflaged. But the underside is bright white. We pushed the boat away from the dock and looked down, and about twenty feet under the dock there his fish lay, pristine white on the sandy bottom.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hmph. What luck.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A 50/50 chance by my guess.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb rolled his eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Anyway, Willy starts stripping his clothes off like he’s going to go swimming for that fish, and Burnette puts a hand out to stop him. Calmly takes the fishing line we hand her. Drops the line down, does a little Captain magic, and hooks the damn fish a second time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Absurd,” Caleb shook his head. “Absolute nonsense.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She pulls the fish out of the water, looks at Willy, looks at the fish, and gives this classic Burnette chuckle.” Fjord mimicked a slow laugh. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Had to catch that one twice, eh Willy?</span>
  </em>
  <span> She says. The whole crew keels over laughing, and Willy is stuck there red as a tomato.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And thus,” Caleb nodded his head. “The name of the tale is revealed. The twice caught fish.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord shrugged. “I timed it right though, didn’t I?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb looked up and realized they were reaching the end of the shore, the north ward coming up against the wall of the city. He was being steered back into the city proper, a tidy section with small gardens and brickwork. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You are far more clever than you try to appear,” Caleb admitted. He had already known Fjord tended to downplay his intellect, tried to deceive others into passing over him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A block from the shoreline they found a tavern with round architecture and a cozy feel. Fjord led the way in, scanned the room and windows out of habit and led Caleb to a corner table. For a tavern it was surprisingly quiet. Caleb got settled in his chair and pushed his hair out of his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How long did you sail with Burnette?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord leaned back in his chair and scratched his beard idly. “Only a season. I was just a little fellow at the time, and Sabien had got picked up by another crew, but we met up again back in Port Damali.” A shadow passed over Fjord’s eyes, and Caleb thought about all the things he didn’t know of Fjord.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Instead of asking further after Sabien, Caleb found himself saying, “It’s hard to imagine you as a little anything.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, well,” Fjord smiled awkwardly and shrugged. “I hadn’t been working long, hadn’t had a chance to build any muscles.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A dwarf came by and asked if they wanted anything. Fjord brought up what fish were in season, asked about the beer, and was generally his charming self. By the time Caleb realized he was just watching Fjord, the dwarf was gone and Fjord was tapping the table idly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Lost in thought?” Fjord asked, and Caleb folded his hands in his lap.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A little. Thinking about… how different our lives were.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The dwarf dropped off two beers and Fjord pushed one at Caleb. “We survived though. And ended up with the Nein. All uphill from there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It made Caleb laugh, and he ducked his head to hide it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You haven’t had Frumpkin out much lately.” Fjord said, took a drink, and kept his eyes carefully averted. “Everything alright?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb snapped and Frumpkin wound around Fjord’s ankles for a moment. “I didn’t think you would miss him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a rumble, agreement or otherwise was hard to tell, Fjord leaned down and scratched Frumpkin behind the ears. The cat chirped and hopped into his lap, which startled Fjord slightly. “I don’t know, he’s part of the team. I like him. He’s a bit of a risk taker, like us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Frumpkin butted his face into the underside of Fjord’s chin, and Fjord winced instinctively. “He likes you too. Your beard, in particular.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Figures,” Fjord grabbed the cat closer with one hand and scrubbed his beard over the top of Frumpkins head. The cat wiggled but endured it, and Caleb had to hide another smile. “Alright, enough, play it cool Frump, we can’t let on that I like you so much. I have a reputation to uphold.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” Caleb agreed dryly. “Whatever will people think if you enjoy the company of a pet? They might mistake you for being soft.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Frumpkin circled and curled up in Fjord’s lap, and Fjord ignored him to take another drink. “I obviously can’t have that. Captain Tusktooth doesn’t do soft.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What about Fjord Felsen?” Caleb rubbed the side of his mug. “He wants children, he’s not a hardened pirate. Nor is he a harried warlock. Perhaps he is allowed to enjoy the kinder things of life.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb wasn’t sure where that was coming from and hoped the dwarf would show up with their food soon to distract him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Fjord seemed to be thinking about his answer, watching Caleb. “He probably is. Especially if it’s something his mate loves.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You are very good at masks, Fjord.” Caleb drank his beer and hoped the alcohol would soothe him a bit. “How do you do that? Come up with personalities and characters to become?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s a bit like lying, I think.” Fjord dropped a hand onto Frumpkin, petting slowly. “Find the seed of truth in it, make it more authentic.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was watching Caleb, so Caleb nodded along slowly. “I hope you don’t have to do that forever.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Pet Frumpkin?” Fjord shifted in his chair so he could push his feet closer to Caleb and cross his legs. “Gods, my hand would fall off.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was smiling, letting Caleb in on the joke, but Caleb sighed. “I hope someday you don’t need the mask any more. I hope someday you get to be yourself, and that will be enough.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord’s hand had stilled on Frumpkin’s back, so Caleb hid his face behind his beer as he took a long drink. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you, Caleb.” Fjord finally answered, voice soft. “I… I hope so too. It helps having people around who,” Fjord sniffed and brought his drink to his lips, “who see past it, anyway.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb decided the north ward was a little boring for his taste. There was a bakery and a haberdasher and some mansions and it all seemed so tame. When Caleb explained it to Fjord, Fjord bit his lip to stifle a laugh. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m just saying,” Caleb paused at the staircase leading up to the inn rooms, “there’s an entire block consisting of mostly forges, experiments, alchemists- why would I want to settle down where the most interesting house is the one growing foxglove out of season?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He couldn’t tell if Fjord was laughing at him or not when he was pulled into an embrace. “Caleb Felsen is a teacher,” Fjord reminded him. “A teacher trying to adopt a child and lay low. Boring is </span>
  <em>
    <span>good</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Caleb. We aren’t actually going to settle down here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The reminder made Caleb stiffen slightly. “Well when you put it like that, perhaps the foxglove is a little too exciting.” He tried for joking as he pecked Fjord’s cheek and turned to take them upstairs. “What kind of person is able to grow plants out of season anyway? And foxglove is toxic, I don’t want our child to get into it before I can train them in basic herbalism.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There you go.” Fjord followed him up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb took a bath while Fjord continued his book, and when he came back out he took a seat on the bed. He felt a little exposed without a shirt on, but it was plenty warm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So tomorrow,” Caleb did a few stretches, tried to loosen up his shoulders. “Shel wants me to help Imase with her letters. Have you interacted with her much?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not really,” Fjord set his book aside. “She watched us work for a bit, but she was more interested in playing with her dog. Grisha, I think it’s called.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb considered that for a minute. “So there is Imase and her dog Grisha, and there is Yuval. Who is the third?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Eve. She kept out of sight mostly. Human. She seems old enough she could be on her own, but I think she’s helping Shel out.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Will she need help with schooling?” Caleb snapped Frumpkin to the foot of the bed and Fjord smiled. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not sure. She seemed pretty preoccupied. I think there might be a basement or something. When we came back in I tried to catch a peek for her but she wasn’t in any of the rooms I saw.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb tucked himself under the covers. “I’ll see what I can learn tomorrow then. Are you going to read more?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He held up his hand to snuff the light but waited. Fjord looked down at him for a moment before shaking his head and sliding down beside him. “No, I’m rather tired from all the manual labor my husband roped me into.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb laughed as he twisted his fingers and snuffed the little fires in the room before pushing at Fjord’s shoulder. They would be alright, he figured as he got comfortable. He wasn’t going to fuck this up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>---</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They got into a routine after that. Or more accurately: Caleb maneuvered them into a routine. He would wake up entangled with Fjord, but never more than was decent, and it wasn’t so intimate that it made things awkward. They’d grab something from the tavern on their way out, and it was usually from Bizla. Fjord learned her husband, Eztli, is actually an accomplished tradesman in the city and Bizla works at the inn because she enjoys it and to keep busy. After socializing for a bit, Caleb and Fjord would make their way to the orphanage. The guard there changed every few days and never seemed very interested in why they kept coming back. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Imase took to Caleb quickly. She liked studying and learning, and Caleb found that while she could barely write she was quick with words. There was a sharpness behind her eyes that could easily tip into a hunger for knowledge if fed. So Caleb picked up books from Ennel that would be suitable for a beginner and gave them to Imase. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She reveled in the adventures, but also in the poetry. Caleb wasn’t much of a poet himself, but Imase hardly put her book of coastal poems down once he gave it to her. She asked him what unfamiliar words were and copied them down and said that someday she would travel the world and write poetry of all the places she had been with Grisha. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb also talked to Yuval, who was not as interested in lessons until he tipped over a candle and Caleb snuffed it with magic. He mimicked Caleb’s hand movements with wide eyes and asked if he had learned that from books. Caleb insisted they had to get Shel’s permission before he taught Yuval any magic. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eve was, as Fjord had said, elusive at best. Caleb was starting to think the girl was ignoring him. The few times he saw her he could note wide eyes and suspicious glances. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The shed was completed quickly, but Shel put Fjord to work repairing the roof, then moving furniture, and finally had him teach Yuval basic knots and sailing skills. Yuval was already following Fjord around, eyes wide with hero-worship, bringing him water and offering to help.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When noon rolled around every day, Caleb and Fjord would take their leave. Shel wasn’t quite so sharp with Caleb, but she hadn’t brought up their intent to adopt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s for the best,” Fjord pointed out after a few days. “We can’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually</span>
  </em>
  <span> adopt one of the kids. I don’t want to get their hopes up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Which was something they had been worried about early on, the big drawback of the plan. If a child got attached, if they weren’t careful and misled one, Fjord was more than willing to pull the plug on the whole operation, and Caleb agreed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still. Imase was too independent for her age, and Yuval saw Caleb as a tool more than a parent, so for now there was a tenuous rhythm. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sometimes they would return to their rooms for lunch, but often they wandered the city. Caleb kept in contact with Veth, and Fjord would charm the locals into talking about other travellers. Beau had the Cobalt soul combing the dock records, and had the outpost at Port Damali doing the same. She herself was spending a lot of time working out with Yasha, which Veth spent an entire three messages dropping hints about how well that was developing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Whenever they did get back to their rooms, Fjord would take a bath and Caleb would make an excuse to give him space. Which meant he spent a lot of time working on spells. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For dinner they tried to visit the Brass Chalice to meet with the others, but Beau said she was worried about blowing their cover so they didn’t see their friends as often as they wanted. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They had paid for a tenday in advance at the inn, and when the end of that tenday rolled around Caleb got nervous. There was something up about the orphanage, and Shel was warming up to them, but there was also no sign of Sabien. Fjord had mentioned coming out of Port Damali, and sailing, but Shel hadn’t let slip anything about another young man with a similar story.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beau had confirmed that Sabien was regularly coming through Zoon, but he wasn’t due for another half-month. They couldn’t really afford to hang around for that long. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Caleb was desperate to stay. He argued that their cover was intact, that they were in a perfect position for when Sabien returned. Building Shel’s trust was no mean feat, and they would have a hard time pulling someone in to replace them without tipping her off. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Surprisingly Beau agreed with Caleb. She had started getting the sense that something was off about the Cobalt Reserve outpost there as well. So while Jester and Yasha pointed out that most of the Nein were sitting around on their hands, the group agreed to hold out. At least until Beau could discern if there was anything fishy at the Soul.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Veth decided to find them a job. Something nearby that they could pull off without forcing Fjord and Caleb to back out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So Caleb dropped the gold for another tenday at the inn at lunch while Fjord went upstairs to clean up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“By the way,” Caleb asked the haughty and elusive owner Rogos, “My husband and I used to be adventurers, and we have some friends coming through town who are looking for work. If you hear about anything, they’re quite capable. And discreet.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rogos counted the coins out and slid them into a pouch before answering. “I hardly deem such scuff-work worthy of my attention, but adventurers are good for business. I’ll let you know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb nodded his thanks and made his way to the stairs when Bizla caught him. “Did I hear y’all are looking for work? I thought you retired?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We did,” Caleb looked her over. “But our friends are still roaming. Did you have a job?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bizla folded her arms and sighed. “My Eztli was trying to find some special plant, but there ain’t any he could find in town. He said you can get this stuff in the foothills to the east, around the wetlands. But he can’t go himself, so…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So you want to hire some adventurer’s for a milk run. That sounds about their speed.” Caleb pulled out his journal. “What’s the name of his shop? I’ll send my friends by.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“I don’t like it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb sighed and set down his quill. “I know, but this is how it worked out.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord paced over to the balcony and folded his arms. “We should go with them. They’ll be too far if anything happens with Sabien, and we’ll be too far if they find something dangerous.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They are perfectly capable, Fjord.” Caleb turned in his chair to face him. “If we leave, we jeopardize our relationship with Shel, and if Sabien comes through we will miss it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s not due for a while yet,” Fjord shook his head. “I don’t like it Caleb. We already split the Nein in the city. If something goes wrong out there-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They have Caduceus, and Jester can send us a message. It’s a </span>
  <em>
    <span>plant</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Fjord. It’s benign. Not even remotely carnivorous.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord finally turned to face him and his eyes narrowed. “That’s not why I’m against this and you know it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb did know it. He worried too. Splitting the Nein never works out, and they had been pushing their luck by being just two blocks away. More pressingly, though, Caleb wanted to hold onto the illusion a bit longer. Leaving their little bubble, returning to the Nein and going on the road would shatter it. Caleb was being selfish. But, he argued to himself as Fjord scowled, it was for the right reasons. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fjord. We decided. It will only be for a few days. They aren’t going to dally around in the countryside. I honestly expected you to be more ok with this.” Caleb tried to keep his tone level and even, tried to keep his personal emotions out of it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord apparently had no such reservations. He growled under his breath and turned back to the balcony, pushing the door open to let the afternoon breeze come in. “What part of sending the others out of town did you think I would be ok with? The part where we are alone in the city? Perhaps the part where we can’t contact them if something does go wrong?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It rankled Caleb that Fjord was so averse, in an odd way. “Well, if you want to call off the mission on Sabien, call it off. It’s your place. Your job.” The words tasted bitter even as he said it, so he turned back to his notes. He hated conflict. Hated disagreeing with Fjord. If they were in public he would touch Fjord, soothe him, pet down his hackles and distract him. But they were in private, and Caleb had no claim on Fjord’s body here.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s not what I want, Caleb.” Fjord sounded even more frustrated and bit off whatever he was about to say. “Something doesn’t feel right,” he finally managed, arms folded and glowering at the sea. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“By all means,” Caleb penned out his lesson plan for Imase, “continue to grumble instead of trying to fix it.” He wished his words didn’t have the bite that even he could hear, but Fjord itching to stop their performance was cutting him deeper than he should have allowed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck you,” Fjord replied, but it was more tired than acidic. It still hurt, and Caleb let his quill rest on the page, ink pooling for a second before he lifted it. “Stop acting like you’re above all of it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was said under his breath, like he didn’t mean for Caleb to hear. Normally Caleb would ignore it. “What’s that supposed to mean?” He was rising to a fight and he didn’t even know why. His back was still to Fjord but he went cold, felt the start of a real argument begin to boil up. Over what? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord seemed to sense it too. “Sorry. I just,” Caleb could hear him shift, imagined him rubbing his face. “I don’t know what I meant. I don’t like the idea that something is off about the Cobalt Soul here, as well as something shifty at the orphanage. It feels like this conspiracy is growing out of hand.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It didn’t seem like he made a point, so Caleb waited, anger still tight at the back of his throat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It feels selfish to try and keep this a two man job when it seems like Beau has every right to walk in and start demanding answers.” Fjord crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed, just at the periphery of Caleb’s vision. “Maybe we should go over and talk to the others in person.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They had just been at the Brass Chalice the night before, Caleb wanted to point out. Going again so soon might blow their cover. The cover that Fjord apparently didn’t care about. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb clenched his quill and it trembled. “Fine. Let me pack up my things.” It was subterfuge, playing dirty. He didn’t have much of anything to pack up. Some spare sheets of parchment, a novel he reread. But he made it sound final. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If Fjord was going to end it, Caleb doesn’t want it to be ambiguous. When he left this inn for the last time, he wanted to know it. Wanted to be able to look back and memorize everything about it there, a stolen moment in time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So he shoved his chair back and packed up his writing things. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord seemed a little startled as well. “What you mean, pack up your-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not one to leave things behind,” Caleb snapped his book closed, unreasonably angry and frustrated at himself for letting it show. “Perhaps Rogos will give me a bit of a refund. That would be nice, to at least get some of my money back if nothing else.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He turned and went to grab his things from the washroom but Fjord was up and pushing into his path. “We aren’t leaving, Caleb, I just want to talk to the others about this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You want to argue with Beau about our current plan.” Caleb tried to move past him, but Fjord countered. “You’re tired of our cover story, fair enough. I didn’t think you would be so eager to be rid of me you would rush to pick a fight with everyone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You made this decision without me,” Fjord reminded him, eyebrows dropping with disapproval. “You decided to take the job from Bizla without asking, and then you talked to Veth about it, and by the time you got back to our room everyone had made plans without even checking with me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb rolled his eyes. He was getting riled, and he was getting sloppy about it, but he couldn’t stop. “Oh sorry, I didn’t realize the others needed your permission to do what they please. I seem to recall you disappeared in the middle of the night once. Left for a few days, on your own. Why was that acceptable, but this isn’t?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That made Fjord falter, sifting through emotions before going back to a frown. “We weren’t in the middle of a job then, and- and of course they don’t need my permission! I thought we were a </span>
  <em>
    <span>team</span>
  </em>
  <span> Caleb. I thought we talked about this stuff. I thought we would </span>
  <em>
    <span>work together </span>
  </em>
  <span>on this. Why is it different now?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ja?” Caleb crossed his arms and looked away. “We do work together, I could have sworn that was what we had been doing this last tenday. We’re here because we are working, aren’t we?” He gestured at the bed and immediately wished he hadn’t. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord looked at the bed and didn’t look away. “Obviously. This is for the job. I don’t want to </span>
  <em>
    <span>impose </span>
  </em>
  <span>on you any more than I have to. That’s the point, Caleb. There’s an easier way to do this, so why don’t we at least talk about that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb could hear his pulse in his head, felt the tips of his ears start to warm. “If you want to end this then end it, Fjord. I’ve made my position clear.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not sure you have.” Fjord’s hands balled into fists for a moment before he released them. “You want us to stay under cover, but you want to send our backup away. You don’t think I should make decisions for the group, but you’re pushing me to pull the plug on this. Help me out here, Caleb,” Fjord shook his head. “I’m not getting a clear picture.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Which was good, Caleb realized with a hard swallow. Because now that Fjord was throwing it back, Caleb saw it all too clearly. His feelings were compromising him, his thinking. And Fjord was starting to piece it together. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pride refused to let Caleb back down though. “The picture is this: you think the others are leaving you. You are incorrect. You think we are helpless without them. You are incorrect. You are waffling about asking for our help because you think it makes you a burden. You are incorrect. The sooner you figure that out, the better.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord steamed hard under the lashing, cheeks flushing with rarely seen anger. “Ah, thank you for laying it all out for me then.” His voice was clipped and low, threatening. “So sorry that my gods-damned </span>
  <em>
    <span>feelings</span>
  </em>
  <span> are getting in the way of your plans. Here I was thinking that you gave a shit about that sort of thing. Another thing I was incorrect about.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb reeled a little, like he was physically slapped, before Fjord turned and stormed out of the room without another word. For a long time after the door slammed shut Caleb stood there, the breeze pushing the curtains in a slow dance. Tried to catch his breath and slow his heart. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It shouldn’t be a surprise. He turned and leaned on the desk, stared unseeing at the wood grain. It was only a matter of time until he fucked things up. Always, only a matter of time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he felt more in control, Caleb straightened his clothing, ran a comb through his hair, and prepared to apologize. Why physically grooming was important to that he wasn’t sure. But it felt like he had to. After considering his reflection, he splashed water on his face and rubbed his eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Focus. He lost control. He said things he did not fully mean- at least, he had said things he meant in an awful way. He had been harsh to Fjord, and had hurt him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That wasn’t what he wanted. Perhaps he should start there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But no. Caleb gripped the washbasin. If he started talking about how he didn’t want to hurt Fjord, he might slip and say something else about what he didn’t want.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was easier to think of things he didn’t want, as opposed to things he wanted. He wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>allowed </span>
  </em>
  <span>to want things. But the opposite happened to be fully allowed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Alright. He didn’t want to hurt Fjord. He didn’t want to stop their plan to gather intelligence. That was all well and good. He didn’t want to stop earning Shel’s trust and investigating what was going on. He didn’t want to stop Beau’s progress finding corruption in the Cobalt Soul.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He also didn’t want to stop being fake married to Fjord. He didn’t want to take the ring off. He didn’t want to stop having an excuse to kiss Fjord, to soothe him with a touch, to fall asleep next to him and wake up to his dopey morning face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ach. There it was. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb pushed his way out into the bedroom and stared at the bed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t want to fuck it all up beyond repair. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The room was quiet. A lone candle flickered by Fjord’s side of the bed. The sheets were still rumpled from when they got up. Fjord had referred to Caleb as a princess again and Caleb had shoved his face away, elbowed him in the gut, and they mock-wrestled for a few minutes. Fjord mussed his hair horrendously. Caleb had clambered onto Fjord’s back and tried to get him in a pin. Fjord had flipped them and they ended up on the floor, gasping for breath and laughing wildly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb wasn’t confident that could have happened if they hadn’t taken on this job. He wasn’t sure if his friendship with Fjord would ever reach that place of physical ease, where they moved in and out of each others space without thinking about it. Assumed the other would be there. Reached without looking and caught hold. They had been mostly alone together for a tenday and they grew ever closer. Caleb was terrified that once they left that would be gone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord didn’t roughhouse with the others. He trained with Beau, and he teased Veth. He sat and meditated with Caduceus. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If they left tonight, would Fjord sleep next to Caleb? Would he grip the back of Caleb’s neck while they bartered with merchants? Would he let his shoulder bump Caleb’s because they were walking too close together?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Say nothing of the kissing- would Caleb lose this precious intimacy that he coveted?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sighing, he sat at the edge of the bed. None of this could be conveyed to Fjord of course, and therefore it was useless to think about. He needed a plan to apologize. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had hurt Fjord’s feelings. Identified Fjord’s weakness, that he was terrified of being abandoned, and struck there without cause. The logical solution would be to explain a similar weakness. That Caleb was afraid of the same thing. That Caleb wanted to keep Fjord close. That it was fear of </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fjord </span>
  </em>
  <span>leaving </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span> that had stirred him into a vicious offensive. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> would be tantamount to admitting his feelings for Fjord. Unacceptable. That would probably end with Fjord burning the bridge without looking back. And why should he? Caleb was caustic at best, power hungry and selfish. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He heard Veth’s voice in his head echoing her usual chiding. “Enough self-flagellation. Stop beating yourself up and focus on what you can control.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What can I control?” Caleb asked the empty room. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Well, step one was to follow Fjord. Knowing him, he wouldn’t go far. That would mean leaving Caleb alone, and Caleb wasn’t sure Fjord would be willing to abandon him even while angry. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fear prickled Caleb’s stomach though. He could, a voice whispered in his mind. Fjord could wise up and bail. It’s always going to end that way. Either you’ll kill him or he’ll-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb stood and walked to the balcony in a hurry, leaned against the railing and studied the port. Step one: Follow Fjord.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Step two: Apologize. Caleb bit his lip. He was sorry. Sorry to have gotten so angry. Sorry that he had pushed Fjord’s buttons. It was instinct, at this point. Identify the weakness. Strike. He did it, Beau did it- they all did it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He just hadn’t meant to do it to Fjord. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ok,” Caleb whispered. “Apologize.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sorry for pushing Fjord. What had Fjord been upset about? Sorry for making plans without consulting him. They were a team. Caleb got so eager to send off the Nein he acted without thinking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And why were you so eager?” Fjord would say. Caleb looked down at his hands and pressed his thumb into the scar on his left palm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wanted to make it work. Thought about the fight they had days ago. Where he held his tongue and Fjord got the wrong idea. This wasn’t a transaction, he reminded himself. This was Caleb and Fjord, and the Nein. All he had to do was walk down there and apologize and they would fix things. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb frowned at himself. He had gone and treated Fjord like a pawn again, after he said he wouldn’t. After he said he would try to do better. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That felt like a good plan to Caleb. Step one: Follow Fjord.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Step two: Apologize for still being shitty at friendship. He had taken time and evaluated why and how he fucked up. That was good, right? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord was at the bar in the tavern, exactly where Caleb assumed he would be. Bizla was leaning against the bar next to him, a pitying look on her face, and the bartender was sliding another drink to Fjord. When Caleb walked further into the room, Bizla shot him a smile before straightening.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right,” she wiped her hands on her towel and made for the kitchens. “Time to make up, lovebirds. I can’t have y’all moping around here and scaring off the patrons.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When she left Fjord turned to look and locked eyes with Caleb. He looked tired, eyes dull, and he half frowned at Caleb before he dropped a few coins on the bar and moved to meet him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fjord, I-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“C’mon then,” Fjord breezed past him and headed for the garden. “I don’t want to put on too big a show for everyone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb followed dutifully, though he noted they were still in eyesight of several patrons as well as the street. “Fjord, I’m sorry.” He tried to keep his voice down and focused on Fjord’s shirt. It was pale blue and had little amber buttons. The top three were undone and a few curls of hair showed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Swallowing, Caleb tried to focus. “I fucked up. Again. I shouldn’t have said those things. And I shouldn’t have treated you like a pawn again. Especially after you already told me I was doing it the first time.” He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “I… think I am still rather shitty at this whole friend thing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord threw back the rest of his drink and set his glass down on the outside table. “You haven’t been too bad at it lately,” he said. But his body was still stiff and drawn tight, like he was ready to either explode or bolt. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just… I don’t know, I was trained to identify a weakness and strike. But that’s for enemies, not friends. I didn’t ever get trained on how to make friends.” It’s low, he thought, to bring up his training. But it was the truth. He wasn’t saying it to get Fjord to- “I don’t mean to make myself the victim here, I’m just trying to explain exactly why I keep fucking up. And trying to catch it, and fix it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah?” Fjord crossed his arms. “What’s my weakness, tactician?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb didn’t want to answer. Didn’t want Fjord to refer to him that way. Fjord was still angry, it seemed. “You have abandonment issues. Obviously. It isn’t surprising. Given what you’ve told me it would be more surprising if you didn’t.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I see.” Fjord was still seething and Caleb had no idea how to cool him. “So I was wrong to question your plan because I’m an orphan?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Caleb’s throat clicked and he blinked. “No, you have every right to question what we do, to have a say. I just meant that I told you- when I said that you were incorrect,” Caleb felt himself flush with embarrassment, “I was trying to push your buttons, to fight dirty. It was unkind. I don’t,” he swallowed. “I don’t want to be unkind to you, Fjord.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord sighed and let his arms drop. “I believe you. I don’t think you mean to be unkind to me either.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was something in the way he said it, like there was an inside joke Caleb was missing. He wanted to ask after it but it felt like prying. At a loss, Caleb cast his gaze around and noted, again, that they were outside. In public. Where people could be watching.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So he leaned up and ran his fingers along Fjord’s temple, let the strands of his hair sift through his fingers and his nails drag against his scalp. Fjord’s eyelids drooped for a second before he narrowed them at Caleb. “Why didn’t you tell me about the job before you set Veth up with it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His distraction failed, then. Caleb pursed his lips and stepped a little closer. “You were in the washroom. I try to give you your privacy when you are in the washroom.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord flushed a little, but not out of anger. “Alright, then after. We could have talked about it before you sent word to Veth.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sounded stern, eyes narrow and suspicious, so perhaps Fjord didn’t notice that he reached for Caleb. It was habit. They were always in each other's space. Fjord reached and knew he would catch hold of Caleb. His hand settled on Caleb’s side, just under his ribs. Not pushing or pulling, but holding him there. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It anchored Caleb. “She is eager to get out of the city,” he said. “And as I said before. I honestly didn’t think you would be so averse. I passed on the word, and she went to meet with Eztli. If you want to convey your hesitancy, by all means, let’s make our way to the Brass Chalice again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord frowned. “We were just there last night, weren’t we?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes.” Caleb swayed forward a bit more and Fjord’s hand slid to his lower back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hmph. Going back so soon might be suspicious.” Fjord studied Caleb’s face. “I’m sorry I got upset about it at all. I should have trusted you guys to be able to make that kind of call.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The worry in Caleb’s chest unraveled a little. “I’m the one who threw a fit over nothing,” he replied, and tilted his head. He wondered if Fjord would kiss him, to show any onlookers that they had made up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord might have been thinking the same thing, the way his eyes slid down to Caleb’s mouth. “Yeah well. It probably seemed like I was itching to go on a stupid fetch quest. Pretty nonsensical. You were right to call me out.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At that point Caleb could feel Fjord’s breath on his face, Fjord’s other hand sliding onto his flank. He pushed a little closer, let his eyes droop a bit. He wanted Fjord to kiss him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wanted Fjord to </span>
  <em>
    <span>kiss </span>
  </em>
  <span>him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ll keep this up a bit longer, ja?” Caleb whispered. He could practically feel the tension between them, a physical pull, drawn in by Fjord’s warmth and his touch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That sounds like a good idea,” Fjord whispered back, and gently rubbed his nose against Caleb’s. “I’m certainly not going to throw a fit about it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Me either.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord tugged at Caleb’s back, just a little, before he pressed their lips together. Caleb hummed lightly. He really liked kissing Fjord. Their kisses were always gentle, tame. For show. But they were also casual in a way that made Caleb feel like maybe they had always been doing this. Comfortable. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb pulled back to smile at Fjord, let him know that everything was ok, but Fjord tugged him back in and kissed him a little more insistently. Caleb’s memory pulled up the time they lost control a bit, in front of the inn. When Fjord pushed him into a pillar. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn’t very good for show. That kind of kiss was better at making people look away. It was too hungry and desperate for public. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb wanted Fjord to kiss him like that again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Without thinking he licked into Fjord’s mouth and Fjord let him, gasped and pulled Caleb flush against him. Caleb teased Fjord a bit, traced the roof of his mouth and tangled their tongues for a moment before he caught himself and started to pull back again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Again, Fjord didn’t let him get far. He pushed Caleb back, out of sight of the tavern, against the wall, and bit Caleb’s lip gently before sucking it into his mouth while pushing his hips into Caleb’s. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The feel of Fjord, hot and strong and pushing against him, made Caleb’s head spin for a second. He lost track of what they were doing- weren’t they fighting? They had been fighting a minute ago. Sure, they made up, but this wasn’t the goal.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord’s hand slid from Caleb’s flank to his ass and he startled, pushed into Fjord as he jumped and the movement made his legs part enough for Fjord to get his thigh in between Caleb’s. Gasping, Caleb squeezed his eyes tightly shut and savored the feeling of Fjord’s thigh pressing up against his groin in exactly the right way. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The kiss was fast slipping out of hand into something only teenagers got caught doing in public, but Caleb was damned if he was going to be the one to stop them. If they went inside, there wouldn’t be more kisses, because there wasn’t an excuse for kissing inside. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So Fjord bit under Caleb’s ear and Caleb tried not to moan. He turned his head and wrapped a hand around the back of Fjord’s head, holding him against his throat. Fjord was leaving a particularly intense mark on a spot that made Caleb tremble when his eyes blinked into focus long enough to see the man watching them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Same man from the square. Caleb’s height. A mask. Wearing a cloak with the hood up. Caleb immediately let his eyes close and bit his lip, pretending he hadn’t seen. Fjord nosed further down and bit into him again, which made Caleb’s legs buckle a little and Fjord moved to accommodate.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb used the distraction to slit his eyes open. The man was watching, still and silent in the shadow of a building across the street. If it wasn’t for the glint of his eyes, Caleb wasn’t sure he could have noticed that the man was watching them. But his gaze didn’t waver. He just stood and observed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Unsure, Caleb dragged Fjord’s mouth back to his and kissed him hard, breath huffing through his nose as he held Fjord against him. Fjord made a noise, deep and throaty, and kneaded Caleb’s ass. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This good?” Fjord panted, pushing his cheek against Caleb’s and teasing his ear. “Fuck, tell me it’s good, Caleb.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” Caleb hissed back, let his head drop against the wall and tried to catch his breath. “Well done. Very good.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The man was still there. Caleb started to get nervous. Did he have plans for them? Was he waiting for a signal? Biting his lip, Caleb undid another few buttons of Fjord’s shirt and leaned forward to leave his own mark on Fjord’s skin, hands running over his chest. Fjord grunted and his hips shifted and Caleb felt a recognizable firmness against his own. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It surprised Caleb enough that he bit Fjord’s trapezius a little harder than he intended and Fjord keened, high and whiny, before pushing them apart slightly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His amber eyes were blown wide and he looked frenzied as he searched Caleb’s face. Caleb licked his lips and turned to see if their voyeur was still there. “Shit,” he whispered, “he’s gone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Fjord pulled a little further away, and Caleb gripped his shirt to try and keep him close. “Who? Who’s gone?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The man,” Caleb looked up and down the street, then over Fjord’s shoulder. “The one from the courtyard, when we first got here. He was watching us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that why-” Fjord cut himself off and tried to push away again, but Caleb held onto his open shirt and followed. “Caleb, stop. There was a guy watching us?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb scanned the area again before settling back. “He’s gone. I lost track of him. He was-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord pushed Caleb’s hands off of him and started to button his shirt, head ducked. “Fuck, I thought,” Fjord shook his head. “You’re sure it was the same guy?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something was wrong. Caleb missed something. He knew he often missed social cues, but he usually didn’t know he had missed something until it was pointed out. Now though, he could tell. He missed something. “It’s hard to tell, the man covers himself intensely.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He reached for Fjord, touched the mark he left, and Fjord flinched away. “Ok. Any idea where he went?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No.” Stubborn, Caleb grabbed Fjord’s wrist, slid his hand down to weave their fingers together. “Fjord, are you alright?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure,” Fjord was frowning though, down at the ground, then up at a nearby topiary. “Just thought- I just don’t like getting caught unaware. Watched.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb nodded, tried to sooth Fjord by rubbing his palm with his thumb. “It’s certainly unnerving. I nearly kicked you when I saw him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That made Fjord tilt his head, thinking. “Hmm. Glad you didn’t.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb led him back through the tavern. Bizla waggled her eyebrows at them and flicked her towel. Flushed, still a little hard, Caleb hoped that their escape would be read as horny married people instead of the truth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In their room Caleb held onto Fjord’s hand as he towed him to the balcony. It was late afternoon, so there was still plenty of daylight. He positioned them so he could see down the street, Fjord leaned back against the railing, and braced his hands on Fjord’s chest. “He might not have left completely,” Caleb explained, eyeline skipping up and down the street. “There’s a few places he might have a view of-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord tugged him closer by the hips and Caleb went, bracketing Fjord’s thighs with his own. His pupils were still blown, mouth red from kisses and Caleb’s beard. “Just put me where you need me,” Fjord rumbled, and Caleb caught his breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ja.” He steeled himself for a second, seriously, what was his life, then ran a hand through Fjord’s hair again. Tilted his head a little. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He leaned in slowly, eyes dropping to Fjord’s mouth, gave Fjord plenty of time to react before he brushed a kiss across his lips. Fjord leaned up, tried to deepen it, but Caleb turned his head the other way and brushed another, gentle kiss on Fjord. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Easy, Fjord,” he whispered, and scanned the street. “I need to focus.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord trembled slightly. “C’mon.” He slid a hand onto Caleb’s back, tried to tug him closer. “We were getting fairly advanced downstairs. Now we’re in our private rooms, so…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb hummed and settled his arms over Fjord’s shoulders, looked down at him. “Yes, but Caleb Felsen likes it slow.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord’s mouth dropped a little and he licked his lips. “Yeah, yeah ok. Fjord Felsen can go with that. Slow, huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He likes to drag it out.” Caleb leaned in and took Fjord’s lower lip in his teeth, gentle and precise, before laving it with his tongue. As he did, he lowered his eyes to the street below. Nothing out of the normal yet. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord was still shaking, trembling, but he brought another hand up to cup Caleb’s ass. “Sure. That’s good. That’s really good.” He gripped, and it brought Caleb down onto Fjord, practically in his lap as he leaned. “The Felsen’s probably have mind blowing sex, you know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The air went out of Caleb like he was punched in the solar plexus. He could feel Fjord, muscles vibrating and dick hard against his own, and he had to remind himself that this was an act. He was looking for their stalker on the street. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Of course Fjord didn’t have to focus on anything, so he swept his hand up and down Caleb’s ass, gripping it and using the leverage to grind Caleb down onto him. “Hmm,” Fjord considered Caleb from under half lidded eyes, hazy and hungry. “I think you agree. You could probably come up with plenty of their sexcapades, with all that smut you’ve read.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The man was back. Caleb finally clocked him at the corner. He was barely visible behind a potted bush, but Caleb saw him. For some reason, relief flooded his system. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So he kissed Fjord, teased into his mouth and flicked his tongue. “I have read a lot,” Caleb answered, “But you’ll have to give me some input on what Fjord Felsen likes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord’s nostrils flared. “Probably pounding you into a mattress until you can’t sass me any more.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb meant to tell Fjord that the man was watching, but Fjord’s voice was throaty and dangerous and his mouth was slick and warm and his dick was pressing up on Caleb’s, so instead Caleb moaned. Dragged Fjord into another greedy kiss. Rolled his hips into Fjords. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That was apparently what Fjord was waiting for. He brought both hands to Caleb’s hips and guided him, rolled their hips together in an obvious way, and bit at Caleb’s lips. “Caleb, fuck, c’mon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure what Fjord was asking for. Caleb was a little lost in the feel of Fjord’s hands, strong and sure, pushing and pulling him.  “Yeah,” he panted and bit at Fjord’s jawline, at the edge of his beard. Fjord moaned softly. “C’mon indeed.” He pulled back, but Fjord’s hands tightened and held their hips together. “He’s back. Corner down the street. Watching.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wonderful,” Fjord’s voice was dry. “A proper creep then.” He let Caleb go a bit, eyes narrowed. “What’s the plan?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb wanted to say that they should alert Veth, get someone to tail him, but that would mean no longer having an excuse to make out. “Depends,” Caleb said instead.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“On?” Fjord’s thumb rubbed Caleb’s hip idly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I kiss you again?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord huffed a laugh and pulled Caleb in, kissed him deeply before peppering his mouth with quick pecks. “Like that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ja,” Caleb glanced at their stalker. “Now stay close, like we are whispering sweet nothings.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I see,” Fjord brought their foreheads together, lips barely brushing. “What if we actually whispered sweet nothings?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb wound the copper wire around his finger in his pocket. “Then Veth is about to be very confused.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It only took two attempts to find Veth. She was on the next street over, likely hanging around in case of just such an occasion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Veth,” Caleb raised an eyebrow at Fjord. “I’ve identified the strange man, he’s on the corner with the small bush in a pot. Can you tail him? You can reply to this message.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before Veth could respond, Fjord huffed. “Strange man? What’re you doing going around kissing men you think are strange? And my bush is-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Let me see what the situation is,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Veth replied, and Caleb kissed Fjord to shut him up so he could focus. Fjord grinned into it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Same as the one from the other day? You’re sure?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” Caleb broke away from Fjord to cast again. “He was watching us in the garden, and he is watching us on our balcony. You can reply to this message.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll watch you all day if it means you’ll finally let me-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh yeah, I see him. Really shifty looking. You think he’s Sabien’s?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb had to gently bite Fjord to get free for another spell. “Not sure. Was hoping you could track him back to his nest. You can reply to this-” Fjord suddenly grabbed his ass in both hands, firmly, lifting and kneading. Caleb’s voice shot up for the last word, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>message</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Gross! Are you guys making out while you talk to me?!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Caleb couldn’t see Veth, but that meant nothing. She could probably see them. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“At least wait till I leave!”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Another message popped into Caleb’s head while Fjord mapped his mouth out again and made a valiant attempt to memorize Caleb’s ass. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Damn, he’s really riled up. Did you guys finally get over yourselves and bone? You can reply to this message but I think maybe I’d rather if you didn’t, in retrospect.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The afternoon blurred a line, and Caleb was trying to not panic. They had held hands in their room briefly, and then they made out so that Caleb could counter-spy on whoever was following them. But then they needed the guy to leave, so he could lead Veth back to his base, so Caleb convinced Fjord to carry him into their rooms like they were about to fuck.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Problem was, that meant that all their foreplay ended with Fjord dropping Caleb onto the bed and following after, pressing Caleb down into the soft mattress, and Caleb </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> wanted to find out how the Felsen’s fucked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So…” he tried, fingers tangled in Fjord’s hair. “Did you uh… did you have an opinion on dinner?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord’s face was pressed into Caleb’s neck but he wasn’t kissing. “Not really,” he replied, muffled. “Uh, maybe someplace down by the docks?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure.” Caleb took a shaky breath and tried to get his body under control. He could feel Fjord’s hardness still, rutted up against his own, and had to bite his lip to not react. “Sure. Ja that sounds good.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Great.” Fjord turned so he was facing away from Caleb and lifted himself gingerly. “I’m just going to… roll over here now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ja.” Caleb didn’t make eye contact. “Wonderful.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord rolled off of him and Caleb let out a breath. They stayed like that for a few minutes, breathing quietly, bodies cooling down. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s totally normal,” Caleb found himself saying. “The body’s reaction. To stimulation.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord sounded like he nearly choked. “Ye- yeah? Uh huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb felt like he was shoving his foot further in his mouth, but he also couldn’t stop trying to make excuses. “So. As long as we don’t go too far, it’s alright. Isn’t it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He heard Fjord turn to face him. “That makes sense.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb turned as well. “I just mean… it doesn’t have to mean anything. When we kiss as part of the cover. And we…” he trailed off and swallowed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I see.” Fjord nodded solemnly. “So… you aren’t curious how the Felsen's fuck?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Watching Fjord’s mouth say ‘fuck’ was a little too intense, so Caleb turned back. “I mean, of course I’m curious. Obviously.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, me too.” Fjord fidgeted. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb tried to not think about how Fjord had told him he put a bit of himself into each persona. Tried not to think about which part he put in Fjord Felsen. Tried not to wonder how Fjord fjucked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was going to be a long day.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>By the time Veth checked in a few hours later the tension between Caleb and Fjord had come down a bit. Caleb had sat on the bed and snagged the book Fjord had been reading, Fjord had run the bath- again  (Caleb didn’t comment) and he came out of the washroom fresh faced and less twitchy. He spared a glance for what Caleb was reading but didn’t react, just sat at the desk and asked if he could have some paper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I lost him around the market,” Veth grumbled, vaulting over the balcony and dropping onto the little loveseat. “He’s a pro, that’s for sure. Not just a peeper.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb set aside the book and Fjord turned from whatever he was writing. “Maybe that’s where he’s based,” Caleb noted. “I did spot him there first, fairly early on. Might have been when we caught his attention.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Veth shrugged and kicked her feet up. “If it’s just the one guy, you two are probably fine right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to underestimate anything,” Fjord replied. “He could just be the scout, or he could be a magic user, or he could be, I don’t know…” he waved a hand. “Some creature in disguise, waiting to eat us. I don’t want to find out the hard way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fair enough.” Veth looked Caleb over, then Fjord. “You two have gotten better at acting, I take it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb nearly threw a pillow at her. Fjord turned back to the desk. “Veth…” Caleb started, voice low and warning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry. Just, you weren’t very convincing on the road, and then you were making out on a balcony with a romantic view.” She waggled her eyebrows at Caleb and jerked her head at Fjord. “Maybe you two will decide to retire here, after we finish up with the Nein? Eh? It’s a nice city, lots of interesting shops, a port for Fjord to get sailing from and-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you still planning on taking the job for Bizla?” Fjord interrupted, and Caleb sent Veth another warning look with a stern shake of his head. “Now that we know someone is watching us?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, Caleb said it’s an easy job. If we hurry, it’ll be about a day and a half there, day and a half back.” She grinned wide and winked at Caleb before making a silent kissy face and wiggling her shoulders. “Might be suspicious if we back out. Already made plans to pick up horses in the morning.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord sighed at the desk. “I’m worried, Veth. I don’t want something to happen while you all are too far away to do anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’ll be </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Veth bit her lip and made more lewd gestures. Caleb broke and started blushing. “Just lay low, hang out in your bedroom for a while. I’m sure there’s plenty to keep you busy, right? You like each other's company so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At that Fjord turned and Veth went back to sitting normally, the picture of innocence. Caleb looked down at the book in his hands but felt Fjord’s gaze on his heated face. “I’ve always enjoyed Caleb’s company.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s settled then,” Veth clapped her hands and hopped up. “I’ll leave you lovebirds to your reading, it’s about dinner time anyway. Gotta keep up your energy!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb kept his eyes trained on the words before him. He heard a stifled noise and looked up in time to see Veth shove her hands behind her back, smiling at Fjord innocently. Fjord looked like he swallowed a pepper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll be in touch!” Veth called, and dropped from the balcony.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few moments of silence passed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She was in a spitfire mood,” Fjord grumbled, and Caleb closed his book to set aside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As I said, she was eager to have a job. She’ll cool off after riding for a day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord stood when it looked like Caleb was getting up. “By the way,” he dug a hand into the Bag of Holding and pulled out another book, wrapped in paper. “I got this for you, but I was waiting- I forgot to-” he shoved it at Caleb. “Here. So you don’t have to read my boring book about the ocean.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s no such thing as a boring book,” Caleb mumbled, and his fingers brushed Fjord’s as he took the parcel. “But thank you, Fjord.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He carefully undid the tie holding the wrapping together and pulled it away without a tear. It revealed a book titled </span>
  <em>
    <span>The Height of Sepesca</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord’s claw tapped the word </span>
  <em>
    <span>Sepesca</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “That’s an old city up north, here on the Coast. I thought…” his hand withdrew. Caleb looked up to see Fjord rub the back of his neck. “You like history books, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love them,” Caleb clutched the book to his chest and tried to keep a grin from splitting his face in half. “This is a wonderful gift. Thank you so much, Fjord.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” Fjord shuffled his stance and Caleb realized they were standing rather close together for being in private. “I wanted to thank </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, you know. For putting up with me. And…” he shrugged and looked Caleb in the eye. “I hoped you would like it. I like… giving you things. That you like.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb felt his pulse pick up. Fjord was holding eye contact, looked unsure of himself. They’d been blurring lines all day and Caleb worried that this was going to push them further than the intense groping had. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he couldn’t resist. Fjord looked so handsome, the light from the sun coming into their room as it began to set, cast in warm yellows and gold. His eyes were bright and faceted, sparkling. Watching him as if looking for a sign, a sense of what to do. Standing too close, without an audience.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was for them, Caleb thought. This was for Caleb Widogast and Fjord Stone, not the Felsens. Not the orphanage. This was for them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord startled, catching himself, and Caleb realized he was leaning in- like he was going to kiss Fjord. Instead, Fjord blinked rapidly. “Yes, Jesi, I’ll let him know. And it’s fine. Thanks for the update.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” Caleb stepped around Fjord to place the book on the desk. “What did Jester have to say?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uhm,” Fjord followed Caleb, stood at his elbow and tucked his thumbs into his belt. “Just letting us know she’d check in tomorrow around noon, and then again in the evening before they camped for the night. Trying to stay in touch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.” Caleb glanced up at Fjord and back down to the desk. There had been something, for a moment. A barrier that had come down, but now Caleb was less sure. He was being foolish, still caught up in their act from earlier and the fight. “Let’s have some dinner, shall we? We can tell Bizla the others will be back with what her partner needs in a few days.” He straightened his shirt and walked past Fjord, ready to slip back into character. In and out of love with Fjord. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord followed dutifully. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bizla seemed happy to hear the Nein were on the case. “Great! Great.” She tucked her hair behind her ears and leaned against their table. “You two won’t go along? Figured you might scratch the itch to get out of town as well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No such itch to scratch,” Caleb shrugged. “Besides, we have plenty of things we still need to do here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She considered them for a second before shrugging and pushing away from the table. “Alright, not trying to get rid of y’all or anything. Thanks again, I’ll be sure to tell Eztli I’ve got friends on the case.” With a wink she walked away, leaving Caleb and Fjord to their dinner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t, do you?” Caleb asked, and Fjord quirked his head in question. “Have an itch. To scratch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, uh,” Fjord picked up his fork and frowned at his dinner. “No, not really. Not to leave. At least. Not right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They ate in silence and Caleb snuck periodic glances at his friend. They were teetering on something, he knew. He should have known that being isolated would shift their dynamic. While they had always been tuned into each other the last tenday had only made things more… intense. He felt hyper aware of Fjord in a way that left him on edge. Every shift made him look to Fjord, try to read him and respond. Every touch was measured and catalogued. Without the others to diffuse and divert attention Caleb felt like he was orbiting Fjord and stealing attention that wasn’t rightfully his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord, for his part, didn’t seem overly perturbed. He ate quietly with his usual speed and efficiency. Kept his eyes on his surroundings. On the surface he seemed to be acting the same as he had the entire time Caleb had known him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he also had his leg pressing into Caleb’s. One ankle hooked around Caleb’s loosely, the other tapping under Caleb’s calf. Brushing rhythmically. He absently ran his fingers along Caleb’s hand when he reached for his ale. Casual touches that spoke to an intimacy that Caleb was wholly new to. And yet he hadn’t noticed when it started, when he became so comfortable to share space with Fjord. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You haven’t eaten much,” Fjord pointed out. “Are you alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As if on command, Caleb’s stomach tightened. “Ja, I’m fine. Just… thinking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord stilled and set his cup down. “Anything I can help with?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, not really.” Caleb wished he hadn’t said anything. Fjord’s concerned look made him feel even worse. “Just trying to put the pieces together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At that, Fjord nodded. “Yeah, it does seem like something complicated is going on. Or perhaps it's something simple and we’re just missing something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb huffed a laugh. “That’s always a possibility. Especially with us.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They shared a small smile, warm and comfortable. But their eyes met and held for a second too long, even as the smiles faded. There’s something there, Caleb thought. There’s something there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the first time since they started this job, going to bed was an awkward affair. Caleb hid in the bathroom for a while. Stared at himself in the mirror and tried to talk himself out of a dawning realization. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because there was something there, and that might be more intimidating than anything else. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord was reading when Caleb finally got up the nerve to leave the bathroom. He didn’t look up from his book as Caleb skirted the bed and slipped under the covers. “Are you nervous?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A wash of cold rolled over Caleb. “No, I’m not- why would I be-?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because the others,” Fjord marked his place and set the book aside. “Being gone?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh. Well.” Caleb swallowed. “Maybe a little. Hopefully nothing happens though. Tomorrow.” He risked a glance at Fjord as he adjusted his pillow. “With the orphanage.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord nodded and slid so he was laying down as well. With a sigh he turned to face Caleb and put a hand on his hip over the covers. Easy as anything. As if he was accustomed to touching Caleb in bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Which he was, Caleb reminded himself as he muttered a cantrip and doused the candles. At night they always ended up tangled in each other. After a while it just… stopped being an issue. Fjord often curled around Caleb, or Caleb would sprawl over Fjord. It wasn’t so different from when the party would pile together at night for warmth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Except it was. Caleb turned away from Fjord and closed his eyes. It was excruciatingly different. There was something new there. It snuck up on Caleb and now he had to adjust for it and he hated it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was his fuck up, finally staring him in the face. And he wasn’t sure he could fix it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was hard to tell with Fjord’s thumb rubbing soothingly on his hip, his warm breath on his neck, and the memory of what he felt like when they kissed haunting the back of Caleb’s perfect memory. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next day Caleb did his level best to ignore the simmering tension in the air. They grabbed breakfast in mostly silence, though Fjord let his feet tangle with Caleb’s. They bumped shoulders and held hands as they walked to the orphanage, like they always did. As if they always had. Fjord asked about lessons with Imase, and Caleb latched onto the subject until they pushed into the orphanage itself and Fjord was pulled away by Shel to help with something. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Imase had a case of the fidgets of course, and Caleb was distracted, so they didn’t get through everything Caleb had set aside for her. It made Caleb irritable- not at Imase, but at himself for letting things slide. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord came around just before midday. Imase hopped up when Grisha greeted Fjord with a full body wag. “Lunchtime?” she asked excitedly, and darted out into the hall without waiting for an answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re early,” Caleb pointed out as he scraped papers together. “It’s still ten till noon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My apologies,” Fjord stepped closer and pushed a hand across one of Caleb’s shoulders to the other. “But I didn’t want Jester to startle either of us in front of the others. Besides, I finished moving things for Shel and thought we could go somewhere nice for lunch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb grunted and got to his feet. “I’d like that.” Maybe a good lunch would distract him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Or not. It was a stupidly romantic place, not expensive but set on a hill overlooking the coast and part of the city. They sat at a table with mismatched chairs and Fjord charmed the owner into the story of how he landed the location. An awning offered them shade from the sun, a breeze kept them from overheating, and Caleb waited quietly for word from Jester.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord shook his head and smiled as the owner finally took his leave, but the smile faded when he caught sight of Caleb’s face. “Alright,” he squared his shoulders. “Out with it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Out with what?” Caleb sipped his water and let a hand drop to bury in Frumpkins shoulder fur. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever has been bothering you.” Fjord had to dip his head to catch Caleb’s eye. “Something is rattling around your brain. Tell me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb wanted to ask when Fjord started reading him so easily. What was the point of no return, he wondered? When did his walls come down enough that Fjord slipped in unnoticed? Was it this week? Or, as Caleb already knew, when in the last year? When exactly did he become so known to Fjord that he could read him with a glance?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Apparently he took too long to respond, lost in thought. “I mean, if you don’t want to talk about it you don’t have to,” Fjord added as he fiddled with his glass. “I just… if something’s bothering you that I can fix, I’d rather you let me know. If it’s something I’ve done, or overstepped-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not,” Caleb winced. There was no way to avoid fucking up at this point. He’d just have to accept that things were the way they were. But to navigate this conversation he would need to tread carefully. “You’ve certainly done nothing wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But something is bothering you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t a question. Caleb sighed and looked out over the ocean. At the ships coming in and out of the harbor. White sails dotting the horizon. The different streaks of smoke that rose from the various workshops in the city. “I’m sorry if I’m bad company,” he finally offered without looking at Fjord. “Sometimes I just… get lost in a problem.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen, Caleb. I’m not complaining you’re a bad partner- you aren’t. I’m asking what I can do to help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord was so earnest, eyes bright and beseeching when Caleb glanced back over at him. He was being frustratingly attractive. Kind and helpful and considerate. It was maddening when Caleb was trying so hard to lock down his feelings. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jester’s voice in Caleb’s head saved him from the line of questions. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Cayyyleb! Lunchtime! Everything going alright? My pony’s name is Ham! Have you seen the creepy guy again today? If you do spot him I can-</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Turning his head aside, Caleb replied, “Everything is gut here Jester, no sign of our new friend. Be safe out there. Let us know when you stop for the night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You had a word leftover,” Fjord pointed out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shapoopy.” Caleb added. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At that Fjord startled into laughter, shaking his head. Caleb drank in the sight- the crinkles at the corner of Fjord’s eyes, the lines of his mouth as he grinned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Ford caught Caleb looking. He was too slow to turn away. So Fjord took a breath and caught him looking and his face twitched through a handful of emotions, of which Caleb only recognized a few. Surprise. Confusion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Caleb,” Fjord reached over and put a hand on Caleb’s arm. The urge to pull away, to curl into himself defensively, was overridden by the part of him that wanted to push into Fjord’s touch. “Are we going to talk about it now, or later?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Panic swelled under Caleb’s ribs and he immediately tamped it down, put it into a very small box, and shoved it out of his mind. Without effort his training took over, like it was drilled into him yesterday. Set aside emotion. Evaluate. Take control of the situation. Assert the upper hand. Get yourself more time to act if you need it. “Later.” He replied coolly, pulling his arm out from under Fjord’s grip to take up his drink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Fjord leaned back. “That’s probably a smart idea.” But his ankle was still hooked around Caleb’s. Possessive and binding like a shackle. The weight of the ring on his finger stood out to him like it hadn’t in days. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The instinct to bolt, to grab what he could and run, lingered through the meal. It left a sour taste in his mouth, ruined the flavor of the food and the warm breeze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead Caleb could only barely corral his scattered thoughts. They jumped from retracing his steps around Fjord the last week, month, to hypothesizing what Fjord would say. Then they skipped back to the actual job at hand, the confusion of what was happening at the orphanage and what Sabien had to do with anything. Back to Fjord. What would the rest of the Nein say? Would they shame him outright for going along with the ruse, greedily taking from Fjord what he could? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord, for his part, said little. He commented on the fine taste of the food. Pointed out that Imase was doing well. Asked if Caleb ever had a dog, or if he was always a cat person. Caleb answered in as few syllables as possible and nearly chewed through his lip by the time they paid and left. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Fjord casually tangled their fingers together, Caleb twitched. And when Fjord paused near Ennel’s bookshop it took Caleb a few seconds to realize he was waiting to see if Caleb wanted to stop in. Caleb tried to reign in his musings, keep his mind sharp because they were still on alert, there was still that strange person who followed them, and Fjord needed him to be at the top of his game- not thinking about interpersonal drama. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He ended up shaking his head no. He still had plenty of paper and ink, and he had only barely started the book that Fjord gave him. As Fjord shrugged and offered a wave to Ennel inside Caleb suddenly latched onto a new worry. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Should he be getting a gift for Fjord? Fjord was getting into a habit of giving him things, little gifts and useful items that he came across, like it was second nature to spend his money on Caleb. Caleb worried his lip and scanned the street for other shops. What would Fjord like? Something useful, probably. He didn’t take to fancy things for the sake of being fancy. Not like Jester enjoyed high quality items. Material things were less important to Fjord.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because of his childhood. Caleb stole a glance at Fjord out of the corner of his eye only to see Fjord studying him. Fjord likely never had a chance to enjoy things. An orphan, then a sailor. Sharing everything with his peers likely right up until he was blown off his ship. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Where Caleb’s right hand intertwined with Fjords left, he felt Fjord rub his own ring. Ah- but maybe there was a little longing there. For something nice. Caleb recalled Fjord’s face when he presented the rings, the way his eyes lingered on the cool metal, his flushed cheeks. Pleased. Sheepishly pleased. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still. Finding a gift that Fjord would appreciate would take time and research. Caleb was good at that, at planning. This couldn’t be rushed. He wanted Fjord to understand the investment Caleb set aside for him </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the meantime Caleb would just have to show Fjord gratitude some other way. He stepped forward when they reached the inn and grabbed the door for Fjord, dipping his head to invite him to lead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The look he got in return was slightly confused, so Caleb added a more formal bow to lighten the mood. That made Fjord crack a rueful grin and a slight shake of his head before he led the way inside and tugged at Caleb’s hand to follow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb noted that small gestures might be a safe way to show appreciation as he searched for a perfect gift. And if his hunt distracted him from more stressful thoughts, that was just a secondary benefit. This was all for Fjord, after all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They didn’t see Bizla in the dining area, but she was likely on break after lunch so they headed to their room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb excused himself to the balcony, partially to think and mostly to keep an eye out for their strange follower. Fjord nodded and pulled out the papers Caleb had given him before settling in at the desk. Curiosity made Caleb want to ask, figure out what Fjord’s sudden writing project was all about, but instead he bit his tongue and nearly closed the door before leaning against the railing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A quick scan of the view told Caleb the figure wasn’t there. He hummed and wondered if he had followed them to lunch. If he was watching them all day. What his intentions were.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He rubbed his hands along the railing nervously and remembered the way Fjord had gripped him right here just yesterday. How quickly things had gotten out of hand. How easily he slid right past his carefully constructed lines in the sand. It was all fucked now. The ruse he was attempting was obliterated simply because he had fooled himself more than anyone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb had to admit to himself he was head over heels for Fjord. There was no getting around it or lying to himself. Not now that Fjord was clued in that something was going on. He was firmly in the scavenging and salvage stage of this fuck up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What could be saved. What would be lost.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For too long he stood on their little patio and watched the city, thoughts jittered and scattered as he tried to plan. Wanting Fjord- in any capacity, really- complicated things. He wasn’t allowed to </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> things, let alone people. Wanting things was bad because it limited his ambitions down to the physical. Wanting people, wanting relationships, was bad because it allowed another to influence his ambitions. He’d allowed it with Veth as desperation made for interesting bedfellows. Not literally, of course. Veth was an ally, and he knew her well enough to know she would back his move when the time came. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then the Nein came together and Caleb had to gamble a bit. They could hinder his plans, bring him off track. They also offered more power. Stability. Security. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Caleb let himself slip when he teamed up with Veth and started the inevitable slide that led directly to where he was now. Standing on a balcony with a romantic view and fully in love with his companion who was sitting mere feet away. Someone who could hurt him, could stop his goals, could waylay everything Caleb was building. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Long term was secondary, Caleb reminded himself as he leaned harder on the railing. The first step was the present. Fjord seemed unperturbed by Caleb’s feelings. Or at least, he seemed unbothered by the affections. So he was unlikely to tear everything apart just yet. And he hadn’t retracted himself from Caleb, Caleb’s space. He touched Caleb as easily as he had been. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Good enough. Caleb would follow his lead, respect whatever boundaries Fjord set down. When they cleared up the mystery around the orphanage, and whatever Sabien’s connection was to it, they might need to talk. That gave Caleb time to show Fjord respect and prove this wouldn’t ruin things. To upturn the ship was too risky. The others would likely feel erroneously that they must ‘choose a side’ and that meant destabilizing their family. Unacceptable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A hand met his back, between his shoulders. Warm and comforting through his shirt. Caleb turned and watched Fjord quirk an eyebrow at him, standing close. “You look tense. See our friend out here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Quickly Caleb scanned the streets again. “Uhm, not at the moment.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord hummed in thought and dragged his hand up, rubbed the side of Caleb’s neck. “I didn’t spot him today either. Not that I’m comforted by his absence. If anything I’d rather know where he was at all times.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Did Fjord know what Caleb was worrying about? If the Nein separated, Fjord might take it personally. Another loss of stability, of family. And it would be Caleb’s fault. Gritting his teeth Caleb searched the streets again. “Perhaps we should return to the orphanage. More options to see him, and if we break our routine he might act.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hand on his neck twitched. “I don’t want to force his hand without backup.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fair enough.” Caleb narrowed his eyes at where the man had watched them the day before. “Though we may be more at risk in our rooms. Secluded. Balcony. Nobody expects to see us until dinner tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s no great option here.” Fjord huffed and moved to lean on the railing next to Caleb. “Though it reminds me… Eve was acting off today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That made Caleb tilt his head. “Really? In what way?” He hadn’t seen Eve more than a handful of times in the last week. She was still an unknown.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord pursed his lips. “I couldn’t really put my finger on it. She just… kept her eye on me. Watched what I was doing with Shel. Didn’t say anything. Till now she’s kept to herself, you know. Hardly ever even caught sight of her. The others don’t really talk about her either.” He bumped his shoulder into Caleb’s. “Maybe it’s nothing, this stalker has me on edge.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It could be nothing,” Caleb agreed. “But it could be something. We send Veth after our stalker, the Nein leave town, and then Eve starts paying closer attention to you?” He turned to face Fjord. “She’s older than the others, right? 18 or so?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Fjord turned as well. “Human. Around 18. Keeps to herself. I guess she could have been bribed?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Or a plant. I was doing terrible things at that age.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord raised a hand to cup Caleb’s face. “Hey.” Caleb felt himself tense under the attention. “If she’s being manipulated, we’ll fix it. I’m not aiming to kill anyone if I don’t have to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.” Caleb swallowed and tried not to look at Fjord’s mouth. “But we must get to the bottom of things. If she is a plant, she might have information. Might be able to tell us more about Sabien’s business, if it’s legitimate, if he has ill intentions.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fair enough.” With a sigh Fjord tugged Caleb forward so their foreheads met, noses barely touching. “The timing isn’t great, but I don’t want to miss a chance at Sabien.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The comfortable touch made Caleb’s chest tighten, his heart racing. Fjord was so at ease touching Caleb, being in his space, being intimate. It was driving Caleb crazy. Of course their stalker might be watching, which explained Fjord’s actions, but Caleb had only just come to terms with his feelings. Knowing he was in love with Fjord and getting shown physical affection by the man was more than enough to make his brain lose focus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right.” Caleb felt his face tilt of its own accord, trying to bring their lips together. “We can’t miss out on that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fjord nodded and kissed Caleb gently. Caleb’s hands came up to rest on Fjord’s waist and he trembled. How was it so easy for Fjord? How did he get so good at acting that he could play the loving husband with such ease? How was it that Fjord was so much better at setting emotions aside than him?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To the orphanage?” Fjord asked, pulling back and meeting Caleb’s eyes. Caleb swallowed and dragged his mind back to the present. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The orphanage. Eve. More pressing matters than his clearly hormone driven musings. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“After you,” he managed. Fjord nodded and stepped away. Caleb waited until he was far enough he could take a deep steadying sigh without notice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With luck, Fjord would take the lead at the orphanage. He was preferred by Shel after all. And Caleb would have a chance to get a grip on the situation. </span>
</p><p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I can't say I love how this part came out, but it's been over a month since I've posted anything and I can't stare at this any more. Onward and upward though!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm on the tumblr as mefd19DOTtumblrDOTcom (where I talk about writing and post some stuff sometimes) but more frequently as MoonElf19DOTtumblrDOTcom where I post all things nerd which is Critical Role probably 90% of the time.<br/>Feel free to shoot me prompts and stuff but fair warning I'm super awkward for all that I just turned 29.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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